Accepts new job assignments willingly : Never finishes a job.
Active socially : Drinks heavily.
Alert to company developments : An office gossip.
Approaches difficult problems with logic : Finds someone else to do the job.
Average : Not too bright.
Character above reproach : Still one step ahead of the law.
Charismatic : No interest in any opinion but his own.
Competent : Is still able to get work done, if supervisor helps.
Consults with co-workers often : Indecisive, confused, and clueless.
Consults with supervisor often : Pain in the ass.
Delegates responsibility effectively : Passes the buck well.
Demonstrates qualities of leadership : Has a loud voice.
Deserves promotion : Creates new title to make him feel appreciated.
Displays excellent intuitive judgment : Knows when to disappear.
Displays great dexterity and agility : Dodges and evades superiors well.
Enjoys job : Needs more to do.
Excels in sustaining concentration but avoids confrontations : Ignores everyone.
Excels in the effective application of skills : Makes a good cup of coffee.
Exceptionally well qualified : Has committed no major blunders to date.
Expresses self well : Can string two sentences together.
Gets along extremely well with superiors and subordinates alike : A coward.
Happy : Paid too much.
Hard worker : Usually does it the hard way.
Identifies major management problems : Complains a lot.
Indifferent to instruction : Knows more than superiors.
Internationally know : Likes to go to conferences and trade shows in Las Vegas.
Is well informed : Knows all office gossip and where all the skeletons are kept.
Inspires the cooperation of others : Gets everyone else to do the work.
Is unusually loyal : Wanted by no-one else.
Keen sense of humor : Knows lots of dirty jokes.
Listens well : Has no ideas of his own.
Maintains a high degree of participation : Comes to work on time.
Meticulous in attention to detail : A nit-picker.
Not a desk person : Did not go to college.
Of great value to the organization : Turns in work on time.
Use all available resources : Takes office supplies home for personal use.
Quick thinking : Offers plausible excuses for errors.
Should go far : Please.
Slightly below average : Stupid.
Straightforward : Blunt and insensitive.
Strong adherence to principles : Stubborn.
Tactful in dealing with superiors : Knows when to keep mouth shut.
Takes advantage of every opportunity to progress : Buys drinks for superiors.
Unlimited potential : Will stick with us until retirement.
Uses resources well : Delegates everything.
Uses time effectively : Clock watcher.
Very creative : Finds 22 reasons to do anything except original work.
Visionary : Cannot handle paperwork or any project that lasts less than a week.
Well organized : Does too much busywork.
Will go far : Relative of management.
Willing to take calculated risks : Doesn't mind spending someone else's money.
2 comments:
Thats a blunt but honest dictionary of all work place vocab.
Thanks for the efforts.Its a well organized work too! All titles are written alphabetically , sorted out with the perfect most meanin'..Befitting in short!
Also it reflects ur highly skilled n infact, polished , or inborn talent of seeing behing the mirror ! All what glitters is not gold..n u can not only feel it, but can calculate n sort out the truth from lie..seperate em..n put the facts right in front of everyone, boldly n very genuinely! =)
Here are some more ! (its someone else',- anonymous u can say ) ;)
Today's Professional Management FUNDAS
1."We will do it" means "You will do it"
2."You have done a great job" means "More work to be given to you"
3."We are working on it" means "We have not yet started working on the same"
4."Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means "Its not getting done "At least not tomorrow!"
5."After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views" means "I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"
6."There was a slight miscommunication" means "We had actually lied"
7."Lets call a meeting and discuss" means "I have no time now, will talk later"
8."We can always do it" means "We actually cannot do the same on time"
9."We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."
10."We had slight differences of opinion "means "We had actually fought"
11."Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you" means "Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"
12."You should have told me earlier" means "Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"
13."We need to find out the real reason" means "Well I will tell you where your fault is"
14."Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected," means, "Well you know..."
15."We are a team," means, "I am not the only one to be blamed"
16."That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything about it"
17."All the Best" means "You are in trouble"
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