Stop Eating Your Anger

Four years ago, Barbara Konwinski of Wyoming, Michigan, weighed 268 pounds. "I was so angry — just angry at my life in general," the 54-year-old teacher, mother and wife recalls. "I felt I had no control over anything."

Although she's normally cheerful and outgoing, a series of events that would challenge anyone — her husband's job loss when his company relocated, a house fire and a serious accident involving her oldest son — brought Barbara to an emotional low. And her weight to an all-time high. "Only food would appease me," she recalls. "So I would grab a cookie, eat it and then feel worse, because in addition to being angry and frustrated with my family's circumstances, I'd be angry with myself for eating. Then I would turn around and eat two more cookies."

Barbara was literally stuffing her anger, something many women who struggle with their weight do, experts say. This is how it works: You have a run-in at the office, you open your mail to find a monster bill or your teenager rolls her eyes at you and stomps away. Your next stop is the kitchen or perhaps the staff lounge, where somebody brought in a cake. Never mind that you have been making a conscious effort to eat less. Down goes the cake, the leftover pizza or whatever else is around.*

"We've learned from thousands of patients that women often internalize their anger," says Gerard J. Musante, Ph.D., director of Structure House, a residential weight-loss center in Durham, North Carolina. "They use food to deal with the depression, emotional hurts and reduced self-esteem that follows."

"People who swallow their anger feel, for whatever reason, that they can't express it, so they resort to food," says Thomas Wadden, M.D., director of the Center for Weight and Eating Disorders at the University of Pennsylvania's medical school.

"The irony is, nobody enjoys eating when they're stuffing hostile feelings," Dr. Wadden adds. "Even if it's delicious, you may not notice the taste or how much you've eaten."

Eating out of anger or frustration often sparks binges, which can really pile on the pounds, says Howard Rankin, Ph.D., psychologist and author of Inspired to Lose. Rather than eating just one or two cookies, you eat the whole bag, only to then move on to other food items. Keeping anger under wraps also is draining, because it uses a lot of energy, says Dr. Rankin. "The angry person may feel very empty and very hungry, with a desperate need to eat."