How to Buy Cheap Groomsmen Gifts With Style

Groomsmen are not chosen just to give life and meaning to your wedding. They are not chosen just to be glorified guests and picture perfect props. They are groomsmen chosen for a reason. They have duties to perform. Your groomsmen organize your bachelor party. They assist you through your tuxedo fittings. They are your trusted pals on your wedding day as they see to it how your suit looks good for you. They also assist guest in looking for available seats at the ceremony. Such deed is priceless and what better way to show your gesture of thanks and appreciation for the support and help on your wedding day is to give gifts for your groomsmen. Gifts need not be expensive, if you are on a tight budget.

The price of the gift is not what matters, but the thought is what counts most. Knowing that weddings can be expensive, you might have a tight budget and buying expensive tokens may be too much for you. There are wide selections of cheap groomsmen gifts that are available and still look special. Remember that cheap does not necessarily mean that it looks ugly, loud or no class. Cheap Groomsmen Gifts are priced from$20 to $25. Some of these cheap groomsmen gifts may be engraved key chains, money clips, or Zippo lighters, engraved pocket watches or cuff links, mugs, shot glasses, or beer steins with the wedding date and location engraved.

Thosein sports may find baseball caps or t-shirts embroidered with the word Groomsmen are not chosen just to give life and meaning to your wedding. They are not chosen just to be glorified guests and picture perfect props. They are groomsmen chosen for a reason. They have duties to perform. Your groomsmen organize your bachelor party. They assist you through your tuxedo fittings. They are your trusted pals on your wedding day as they see to it how your suit looks good for you. They also assist guest in looking for available seats at the ceremony. Such deed is priceless and what better way to show your gesture of thanks and appreciation for the support and help on your wedding day is to give gifts for your groomsmen. Gifts need not be expensive, if you are on a tight budget.

The price of the gift is not what matters, but the thought is what counts most. Knowing that weddings can be expensive, you might have a tight budget and buying expensive tokens may be too much for you. There are wide selections of cheap groomsmen gifts that are available and still look special. Remember that cheap does not necessarily mean that it looks ugly, loud or no class. Cheap Groomsmen Gifts are priced from$20 to $25. Some of these cheap groomsmen gifts may be engraved key chains, money clips, or Zippo lighters, engraved pocket watches or cuff links, mugs, shot glasses, or beer steins with the wedding date and location engraved.

Thosein sports may find baseball caps or t-shirts embroidered with the word "Groomsman" and the date of the wedding, golf flasks that hold tees, divot tools, and ball marker, tickets to sporting events, local or minor league teams. Leisure or recreational gifts may include tickets to movies or half a year's worth of free video rental, restaurant gift certificates, spa vouchers, or any other coupon that provides the groomsmen to have special time with friends or their girlfriends, magazine subscription, a book, or CD. You only need to know what your groomsmen likes, lifestyle and personality so that it would be easier for you to think of the best gift appropriate for them. You need to ensure that the gift would be useful and that they would surely enjoy. Men appreciate things that are useful and tangible.

Cheap groomsmen gifts can be purchased over the internet or through visit to specialty shops and stores. A wide score of online shopping websites are there to provide cheap gift ideas for groomsmen. Besides, it may be faster to browse online rather than going around in an actual store. All you need is to put a genuine thought on your gift and your groomsman will love it. Have his name engrave. Even though your gift may be cheap but having personalized it, for your groomsmen will make the gift a stand out. You do not have to break your bank to buy expensive gifts to show your gratitude. There are cheap gifts for groomsmen that can be made unique and special.

NEW YORK TOURIST PLACES

Statue of Liberty
The largest attraction of new york is 'Statue of liberty'. It is a reminder of friendship between the two nations during french revolution. This is given by the france to new york. It is situated in the harbor of Manhattan(southern tip) on a small island. The statue illustrates a standing woman, dressed in a flowing robe and a crown. The woman holds a flaming torch high in her right hand and a stone tablet in her left hand.
ConeyIsland
The other main attraction of newyork is a peninsula situated in Brooklyn(south) named "Coney Island". It lies on a beach on the Atlantic Ocean with Seagate(west), and Brighton Beach and Manhattan Beach(east)and the Gravesend(north). There are fun parks, amusement parks, kiddie rides, Luna Park, Dreamland, and Steeplechase Park etc. There are many resorts as well. The amusement park is the major attraction to all kids and adults. The joy rides are also amazing.


Skyscrapers
Skyscrapers is the name given to the 'high-rise buildings'.The NY city and the Manhattan Island are especially known as 'skyscrapers'. Manhattan Island is well known economical district and so it grows higher and higher,since 19th century. There the buildings seems to touch the sky. The major attractions of this island are the 'Rockefeller Center' and the 'World Trade Center'.


Museums and Galleries
There is a large collection of museums and art galleries in New York. The most popular 'Metropolitan Museum of Art' is located along the east of the central park and the 'American Museum of Natural History' on the west of the park. The Jewish Museum, the Intrepid Sea-Air-Space Museum, the Fire Museum, Queens Museum of Art, Botanical Garden are the other major attractions of NY.
Central Park
Central Park is the most common public park of NY city. It is located between 59th and 110th street and between Fifth and Eight Ave, in the center of Manhattan. It covers a 768 acres of land, including sheds, quarries, swamps and pig farms. The park was designed by Frederick Law Olmsted and Calvert Vaux. The central park has several sculptors including Augustus, Saint-Gaudens and John Quincy Adams Ward.
The park also contains several artificial lakes, theaters, walking tracks, ice-skating rinks, fountains, tennis courts, baseball fields, a wildlife sanctuary, many playgrounds and other suitable facilities. The park also contains a zoo and the Metropolitan museum of Art.

PROFESSIONALISM AND SPIRITUALITY!!!

What you are inside always reflects outside. Chaos in your inside is bound to surface on your face and in your behavior which is constantly being observed by people at your workplace who form opinions about your competence, character, and commitment. But how you want them to perceive you may be different from how they actually perceive you. So how do improve this perception?

Study of the lives of successful men and women point at two important characteristics, common to most of them:
1) An abundance of energy, a spark that never dies, an urge to do more, specifically in the domain in which they have achieved success, and
2) A greater-than-usual degree of awareness

We provide you with tips and tricks for garnering these two characteristics. Here are a few practices that will help you in the endeavor:

1. Still your mind through meditation
It is believed that stillness of the mind or meditation can recharge minds fatigued by thinking about ways to win the consumer. So slow down the thinking speed of your mind, focus on any one object and let your brain blank out for a while. Meditate. When you return to the world, you will feel more empowered and ready to face professional challenges.

2. Exercise regularly
Exercising regularly and sincerely with deep attention is essential. Physical exercise will not only help to keep the body fit, but will also enliven the mind. This enlivened mind concentrates better and this liveliness reflects in your gestures, postures and even the way you look.

3. The deep breathing trick
Deep breathing is an easy stress reliever that has numerous benefits for the body, including oxygenating the blood, which ‘wakes up’ the brain, relaxes the muscles and silences the conflicting mind. Take off your shoes and preferably lie down and breathe. While you breathe try to concentrate on nothing by utilizing controlled breathing as the center of focus. Take long, slow breaths, and listen to the sound of inhaling and exhaling. During the inhalation phase, first pull your abdomen out and next expand you chest. Try to think of nothing but the act of breathing. You will be amazed at how much our minds are addicted to wanderlust and how much they resist being tamed. Indulge in deep breathing exercises several times a day. Repeat this exercise six or twelve times in succession in a day. You will feel your mind getting de-stressed and a smile automatically gliding on to your face.

4. Relax your mind and body so that you don’t act impulsive at work
Most problems happen when one becomes impulsive and thus looses focus. For instance, if you are doing a particular work and someone calls on you or comes up to you for a different task, do not jump at the new project immediately. Slow down. Complete the work in hand first before you take up the new task. Your original plan for the day is more important. In fact, you should keep track of what you have planned for the day on a hourly basis. To help you keep your mind and body relaxed, indulge in progressive muscle relaxation. Along with each inhalation tighten one part of your body as much as you can. With each exhalation, relax that part of the body. Start with your toes and feet, then your legs, then trunk, then hands, then arms, then neck, and finally face. After relaxing the entire body as above, do it again. This will help you recognize and relax tight muscles.

5. Get a massage
Sense of touch, which is widely neglected is closely linked to the mind and is vital to your sense of well being. It improves circulation, reduces muscle pain and spasms and eases tension. So get a friend or a professional to give you a massage as you let your mind concentrate on the sound of music.

6. Bask in the glory of music
Concentrate on the beats of the music. Let your soul get lost in the pulsating rhythm. Choose any genre of music that helps you relax. Even after the music stops, keep lying in bed and bask in the silence for about 5-10 minutes. This will give music the time to really work on your mind, body and soul.

The idea is to bring your self back to the wisdom of the body--the inner intelligence of all living things that propels them toward fulfillment without struggle or compulsiveness. Indulge in these practices to feel unison in your body and mind. Feel enriched, empowered and energetic. This will automatically reflect in your poise, deeds and personality

WY SHOULD I QUESTION MY IDEALS FREQUENTLY TO IMPROVE MY LIFE?

When we find ourselves entangled in the middle of demanding people and relationships, we often turn inwards and question the first thing we base most of our lives on -- our ideals. Isn’t it funny how things on the outside drive us to look inwards? Most of the times, we pursue things without taking a good, hard look at them. We fail to evaluate the ways in which they could affect us.
Especially in times of in conflict, analyse things keeping in mind the ideals you’d previously set for yourself. This will put forth a much clearer perspective in terms of whether the conflict you’re about to engage yourself in is really worth it or not! And whether the place that it will lead you to is really the place you want to be at.

The underlying idea of the ephemeral nature of our ideals can be explained really simply using a rather literal analogy. Remember the time in college when you finally ran out of clean t-shirts? The only thing left to do then was to choose the less ‘smelly’ one out of the ones that were used. At the time, you managed with whatever there was. But if given the chance, you’d never like to be in the same place again, wearing smelly clothes day after day.

What this implies is that human standards generally get lowered when faced with necessity. And more than half of the times that this happens, we fail to notice it! We assume that certain things are a must and run after them, forgetting everything else we’d previously decided for ourselves. Often, the pleasure that we seek is largely temporary and tends to dissipate within a short period of time.

The primary thing to do is to realise that our ideals are very relative and tend to shift easily. We compromise on them and later regret our decisions. Learn to question yourself about the decisions you take. In how many ways would they affect you? Where will you be once you go through with your decision? Is all this where you’d ideally like to be? If not, then don’t go through with it.

Question and re-question yourself and your actions and compare them to your ‘ideal’ world. Likewise, any decisions that prevent you from reaching there shouldn’t be opted for. It is undoubtedly the best and the fastest path of getting to where you really want to be!

SPIRITUAL SOLACE AND HOW TO ACHIEVE IT?

How many times have you thought to yourself, "I just have to be Ok with it!"? Chances are that you're probably feeling exactly like this about something, this very instant.

Surrender, in common parlance, refers to the act of giving in, often forcefully or with a certain level of dissatisfaction, against one's will. This seed of dissatisfaction that stems from the inability to give in without a fight then tends to snowball into something much bigger, thus taking up a lot of our time and not to forget, our peace of mind.

So can you actually ‘Surrender'?
Start by understanding that Surrender is not an act, it's an attitude that you build over a span of time by incorporating certain simple values in day to day living.

Yes, surrendering is important, but you must surrender only to break free and to liberate yourself, not to give or accept defeat. Here are a few tips to help you surrender better:

1. When you wake up every morning, sit still with your eyes closed for a while. Forget about everything else in the world. This time is purely for some self-indulgence, to recollect, learn and rejuvenate.

2. Sit with an attitude of complete acceptance. Know that whatever has and will come your way is just a mere lesson in learning. It is through an adoption of this mindset you will learn that there is nothing you cannot handle. The minute you fear, loathe or have a strong opinion about something, you allow it to control you.

3. Some people often imagine themselves soaring high with complete abandon or think about activities that make them feel completely liberated. A common thought is that of soaring far and wide in the endless sky without strings attached (that represents everything that holds you back.)

4. Whatever negative feelings and thoughts may arise, simply accept them, realise they're there and move on. The lesser the attention you pay to them, the lesser they will affect you. Repeat the same cycle at night focussing on your entire day. It'll help you feel calm and relaxed and also aid in a peaceful night's rest.

The magic of Surrender lies in comprehending that true Surrender doesn't just pacify you; it leaves you unshakable and feeling fabulously free. Go ahead. Try it!

MUST KNOWS FOR CAMPUS PLACEMENT INTERVIEWS

Campus placement interviews are the key to getting your career started on the right foot. The secret lies in giving out the right vibes and saying the right things at the right time.

Display a learner's attitude: The 'I know it all' attitude is not going to impress any employer. Considering campus interviewees are freshers, employers will be more impressed by hearing something like, "I know the basics and I am willing to learn the rest". Show that you will mould yourself to their company and not vice versa.

Don't be full of yourself: Arrogance and narcissism have no place in a campus placement interview. Do not brag about your qualities but rather subtly display them before the placement jury in the way you respond to their queries.

Do your homework: Knowing about the company's history and key achievements shows your interviewer just how much effort you are willing to put in. Read up about your prospective employer/s on their website and keep yourself updated on any new developments there.

Be articulate and confident: Speaking too much won't make a good impression, but neither will not speaking enough. The trick lies in answering the questions articulately, clearly, providing only as much information as needed, with oodles of confidence.

Dress appropriately: Whimsical fashion statements have no place at a corporate interview while you may be more creative in your attire (though still on the conservative side) if applying for a job in a creative field. Girls must absolutely stay away from skimpy clothes. Keep the overall look elegant and dripping of professionalism.

BE A CLASSROOM STAR

There will always be that one student in class who’s getting the best grades, winning the sports trophy and the elocution competition every year, and whose name is always on every teachers tongue.

Here is how you could become that student:

1. Get over your fear
What is it that you fear? Is it looking silly in front of your classmates or your teachers? Or about blurting out the wrong answer? Remember that anyone could be in your position and that everyone in your classroom is there to learn- through their own mistakes, or someone else’s.

2. Find your star subject
Each one of us has personal favorites when it comes to studies; for some it may be literature while for others it could be geometry. While you will automatically tend to concentrate more on the subjects you like, make sure you work hard at the one’s you find difficult. At the same time, don’t let the strenuous hours of hard work dampen your enthusiasm. Play on your strengths and work on overcoming your weaknesses.

3. Understand that teachers don’t judge
Your teachers are there to teach you. They don’t laugh, judge, pass comments or hold grudges when you go wrong. Therefore, feel free to ask questions and clarifications if you’re confused about something. They will be more than glad to help. For all you know, you may be echoing the doubts of half your classmates.

4. Be proactive!
An important part of being a star student is that of being proactive in the class room. Take responsibility for simple things like collecting homework assignments or being the class representative. When you have a lot of responsibilities, they’ll keep you on your toes and put you on top of the teachers and students A list!

5. Give your 100%
Juggling homework, football practice, piano classes and exams can be quite demanding. Stay a step ahead of everyone else and excel at all you do by giving it your 100%. Play like it’s the last time you’ll ever kick a ball, concentrate on your studies as though there were an exam the next day. No matter what you do, do it to your full capacity and become a true all rounder.

Remember, stardom comes at a cost!

SEX APPEAL...WANNA TRY??

With the New Year just around the corner, it's time to think of new beginnings. While you can't exactly give your body a makeover in two months, there's lots you can do to maximise your great physical qualities and minimise the bad. Not only does this make you more attractive to the opposite sex, it also makes you feel good about yourself.

This is how you can maximise your best physical qualities...

1. Identify them
From a great set of teeth to a strong jaw-line and even a slim and trim body type, your best quality could be anything. Once you've identified your best physical quality, work on maximising it.

2. Cash in on your assets
Even if you are slim and trim, do some free-hand exercises at home to tone your muscles. Do away with all the loose ill-fitting clothes and wear clothes that fit well. If you've got a great set of teeth, smile! Not only will it improve your face value, you'll also appear to be a friendlier and a more likable person.

3. Fish for compliments
This may seem a tad vain, but actually it's a great way to boost your ego (in all the right ways of course). Ask close family members and friends to help you focus on your best physical qualities. And when you wear that nice body fit stretch t-shirt go right ahead and ask your best friend, “Hey, how do I look in this t-shirt?"

4. Work around your weak points
Now just because you've identified your best physical qualities, it doesn't mean you ignore the ones that are not quite the best. More often than not you'll have a couple of not-so-great qualities that you should work on for best results. If you've got a great smile, it'd probably do you good to keep your facial hair neat and trimmed. If you've got sexy eyes, how about shaping you heavy eyebrows and doing away with those glasses and wearing contact lenses? Now that's as idea!

5. Be Confident
We can't stress on this enough… confidence makes all the difference! Be who you are and people will notice you for all the right reasons. Don't try too hard and don't expect miracles overnight. Even the small changes may take a month or two to be noticed, but they will be noticed eventually

ARE YOU HABITUATED TO ARGUING?

Arguing is almost like a disease. An argumentative person is addicted to having the last say and this not only makes him or her unpopular but also poses them as an unpleasant companion to have.

But why does one argue?

Arguments happen because conflicts exist and the toughest thing to handle in any relationship is these conflicts. While a good and a fair argument can clear the air and help you to feel closer to your love or to your family or colleagues, many arguments are just hurtful and destructive. Arguments that never go anywhere, that are repeated year after year, or that leave you feeling awful about yourself are the ones that damage your inner peace and your relationships.

Arguments could also stem from an inherent need to prove yourself. An inferiority complex could be a cause for such arguments where in a person almost always feels the need to win the argument. In such case, one needs to understand that by constantly arguing you are only announcing to the world that you feel inferior.

Getting past the arguments

Lack of communication causes small conflicts to become heated arguments where issues are not resolved because both parties are trying to make their points and are not even listening to what the other person has to say. When you are about to plunge into an argument, stop for a moment and ask yourself the following questions:

1. Are you overreacting because you are tired and stressed?
2. Is the anger gathered inside you for someone or something else?
3. Are you being defensive because you want to avoid having to say you're sorry?
4. When you raise an issue, are you sure this is the main thing that's bothering you or is it something else about the person that has irritated you?
5. Is it hormonal imbalance that is making you unusually irritable or sensitive?
6. Is your mood being affected by illness?

If the answer to any of these questions is yes than you know that you are not being fair to the other person by arguing. Stop right there. Go to your space and play some relaxing music, read a book or watch TV. Do whatever, the idea is to distract your mind and give it some time to recuperate from anger and stress.

Avoid hurtful arguments by following these few simple guidelines:

1. Be concerned with being kind more than being right
If you're kind to others and treat them well, you'll experience fewer arguments.

2. Develop the art of listening
Listen to what the other person has to say and don’t answer back mindlessly. This will kill half your urge to argue.

3. Learn to keep quiet
There will be many occasions when you'll want to respond to a comment someone has made, but if you do you know that it will be an invitation to an argument. Swallow your anger and urge to react and notice that no argument occurs.

4. Set standards for yourself
What kind of person do you really want to be? Do you want to be known as an argumentative idiot or would you rather be known as tolerant and understanding. In view of how useless arguing is, learn to hold yourself to a high standard and steer clear from arguing.

5. See the other’s perspective also
Try to understand the stance of the other party also. If possible, slip into their shoes for a while and then look at your arguments from their perspective… you might see some light.

6. Know Your Triggers around Arguing
Become aware of what comments and situations trigger your anger and argumentative behavior. Learn how you can avoid getting trapped by them in the future.

7. Leave when a conversation is getting too heated
Walking away may not be the best idea but it is better than letting an argument turn into an ugly fight. Just get up and leave. This will allow you some time to gather your thoughts and cool down. When your perspective is better you can continue the discussion from a more objective point of view.

Remember that no one ever wins a hurtful argument because it almost always leaves a bad taste behind. It has the capacity to severe ties, hurt emotions and create misunderstandings. So take a vow now and steer clear from this poison of hurtful arguments.

WHAT’S THE SIGNIFICANCE BEHIND CERTAIN GESTURES?

Have you ever been scolded for not covering your mouth while yawning or talking while having your dinner? Since these gestures are natural, a number of times we are not aware of its impact on others.

Well, most of these courtesies can be traced back to the Middle Ages to the era of kings and queens, knights in shining armour and chivalry. Some of them were created to be courteous, some were meant to be symbolic, and some were simply matters of logic. Learn the significance of these…

Raising a Toast
Toast and clinking of glasses together, was originally done so that when the glasses clinked, the drinks sloshed together on impact. This meant that whatever was in one drink passed into both glasses. So if someone is planning to drug a friend, he too would get some!

The Story Behind The Handshake
An empty hand presented forward to another person, and receiving the same response, was the easiest and most recognizable way to show someone that people weren’t holding a weapon! Therefore, a handshake meant they were going to talk instead of fight.

Let’s Salute
If a knight, in a full armour suit wanted to talk with a friend, he would have to remove the barrier i.e. lift his visor. His hand, thus, ended up at his forehead to lift the visor. A salute indicated lifting the helmet visor, so that the knight could talk instead of fight.

Yawning? Cover Your Mouth!
This has two logics to it. On a religious level if you yawned, with your mouth wide open, the Devil could reach right in and yank out your soul. Secondly, in the Middle Ages bathing was considered unhealthy, so most of the peasants and nobility stank badly. So it seemed logical to cover one’s mouth while yawning.

Keep Your Elbows Off The Table!
Why is it rude? First thing to bear in mind is that back in the old days people sat down to dinner, squeezed, into a long table that was set into a row. This meant that each person was packed very tightly in between the people on either side of him, and simply didn’t have much room to eat. The elbows weren’t allowed on the table because if someone had their elbows on the table, the other couldn’t eat.

WHAT’S THE SIGNIFICANCE BEHIND CERTAIN GESTURES?

Have you ever been scolded for not covering your mouth while yawning or talking while having your dinner? Since these gestures are natural, a number of times we are not aware of its impact on others.

Well, most of these courtesies can be traced back to the Middle Ages to the era of kings and queens, knights in shining armour and chivalry. Some of them were created to be courteous, some were meant to be symbolic, and some were simply matters of logic. Learn the significance of these…

Raising a Toast
Toast and clinking of glasses together, was originally done so that when the glasses clinked, the drinks sloshed together on impact. This meant that whatever was in one drink passed into both glasses. So if someone is planning to drug a friend, he too would get some!

The Story Behind The Handshake
An empty hand presented forward to another person, and receiving the same response, was the easiest and most recognizable way to show someone that people weren’t holding a weapon! Therefore, a handshake meant they were going to talk instead of fight.

Let’s Salute
If a knight, in a full armour suit wanted to talk with a friend, he would have to remove the barrier i.e. lift his visor. His hand, thus, ended up at his forehead to lift the visor. A salute indicated lifting the helmet visor, so that the knight could talk instead of fight.

Yawning? Cover Your Mouth!
This has two logics to it. On a religious level if you yawned, with your mouth wide open, the Devil could reach right in and yank out your soul. Secondly, in the Middle Ages bathing was considered unhealthy, so most of the peasants and nobility stank badly. So it seemed logical to cover one’s mouth while yawning.

Keep Your Elbows Off The Table!
Why is it rude? First thing to bear in mind is that back in the old days people sat down to dinner, squeezed, into a long table that was set into a row. This meant that each person was packed very tightly in between the people on either side of him, and simply didn’t have much room to eat. The elbows weren’t allowed on the table because if someone had their elbows on the table, the other couldn’t eat.

DEALING WITH DIFFERENCES OF OPINION

The world is full of people who don't see eye to eye on everything from the smallest of issues to the largest. We also often encounter people who disagree with us just to pick a fight and create trouble. Falling prey to such people and getting angry each time you have to face a different opinion will only harm you in the long run. Here are five tips to help you handle differences of opinion:
1. Do not fall prey to provokers: Learn to identify those who argue for the sake of arguing and enjoy having the power of disturbing your peace of mind. These are people you must learn to tackle. Do not let them play with your mind.

2. Be a patient listener: Often, our impatience towards others' opinions stems from our impatience to hear them out in entirety. If we do not understand their thought, we are likely to disagree. So hold your horses and let others express themselves.

3. Don't always talk to win an argument: Give up an argument if the other party is unwilling to bend. You don't always have to have the last word, not at the cost of your own peace of mind.

4. Place yourself in your opponents' shoes: Someone opposing your point of view is basically propagating his own. And his point of view deserves a chance. So that you can understand their side, slip into their shoes. Argue out in your mind their point of view and oppose your own. Defending their thoughts will help you see all its merits and demerits. For all you know, you might even agree with them later!

5. Be open to better ideas: You must have the strength to accept the superiority of others' ideas. Being rigid and not embracing their thoughts will only affect your growth, both mental and emotional.

Stop Eating Your Anger

Four years ago, Barbara Konwinski of Wyoming, Michigan, weighed 268 pounds. "I was so angry — just angry at my life in general," the 54-year-old teacher, mother and wife recalls. "I felt I had no control over anything."

Although she's normally cheerful and outgoing, a series of events that would challenge anyone — her husband's job loss when his company relocated, a house fire and a serious accident involving her oldest son — brought Barbara to an emotional low. And her weight to an all-time high. "Only food would appease me," she recalls. "So I would grab a cookie, eat it and then feel worse, because in addition to being angry and frustrated with my family's circumstances, I'd be angry with myself for eating. Then I would turn around and eat two more cookies."

Barbara was literally stuffing her anger, something many women who struggle with their weight do, experts say. This is how it works: You have a run-in at the office, you open your mail to find a monster bill or your teenager rolls her eyes at you and stomps away. Your next stop is the kitchen or perhaps the staff lounge, where somebody brought in a cake. Never mind that you have been making a conscious effort to eat less. Down goes the cake, the leftover pizza or whatever else is around.*

"We've learned from thousands of patients that women often internalize their anger," says Gerard J. Musante, Ph.D., director of Structure House, a residential weight-loss center in Durham, North Carolina. "They use food to deal with the depression, emotional hurts and reduced self-esteem that follows."

"People who swallow their anger feel, for whatever reason, that they can't express it, so they resort to food," says Thomas Wadden, M.D., director of the Center for Weight and Eating Disorders at the University of Pennsylvania's medical school.

"The irony is, nobody enjoys eating when they're stuffing hostile feelings," Dr. Wadden adds. "Even if it's delicious, you may not notice the taste or how much you've eaten."

Eating out of anger or frustration often sparks binges, which can really pile on the pounds, says Howard Rankin, Ph.D., psychologist and author of Inspired to Lose. Rather than eating just one or two cookies, you eat the whole bag, only to then move on to other food items. Keeping anger under wraps also is draining, because it uses a lot of energy, says Dr. Rankin. "The angry person may feel very empty and very hungry, with a desperate need to eat."

How Fast Should I Lose Weight?

There are some medical risks associated with rapid weight loss. Losing more than 2 or 3 pounds per week poses some danger of negative health consequences, including electrolyte imbalance — a potentially life-threatening condition.
Another common danger of rapid weight loss is that people often use unsafe methods to achieve it, like starving themselves or eliminating several essential nutrients. We've all seen too many of these ridiculous gimmicks fail. Remember the cabbage soup diet?

These diets are unhealthy to begin with, but people often combine them with dangerous over-the-counter weight-loss products that promise almost magical results. The marketing behind these products is huge, yet the science to ensure their safety and efficacy is frequently lacking, despite the manufacturers' claims.

Research comparing rapid initial weight loss with slower, steadier weight loss shows that over the long run more people who lost weight rapidly, or who initially lost large amounts of weight, tended to regain the weight more quickly. After a year, people who lost quickly ultimately ended up in about the same place as the ones who took a more gradual approach.

Safe, effective weight loss involves making small, sustainable changes in diet and adding reasonable amounts of physical activity to your day. Focus on realistic portion control and healthy food choices, and work toward 10,000 steps a day. Also, try to identify and address any emotional and situational triggers that throw you off track, so you can adjust to life's challenges without turning to food or other unhealthy habits.

Why starve and deprive yourself on the way to the finish line? Slow and steady really does win the race.

Emotional eating and its disadvantages

"Emotional eating" is sort of a blanket term that describes how people use food in relation to negative — or sometimes positive — emotions. It is most commonly seen, however, as a reaction to a negative feeling. In short, emotional eaters eat to make themselves feel better. We believe it's a coping response that stems from a lifetime of learning. For many, emotional eating begins very early in childhood; for others, it develops later in life. What's the first thing we do when a baby is crying? We give him or her a bottle. How do we reward young children? With candy. How do we celebrate success as adults? With food and drink. This is not to say that using food in these ways is always bad — but it becomes a problem when we rely heavily on food to the exclusion of other, more healthful coping strategies.
It's true that emotionally triggered eating can temporarily soothe people, relieve their stress, or make them feel better. But very shortly afterward, it can have just the opposite effect, making them feel guilty or ashamed. And that leads to more emotional eating, creating a vicious cycle.

I include eating to reward yourself in the emotional eating category because it is another instance of using food in response to an emotion. In every society throughout history, food has been involved in celebration — and there's nothing wrong with that. But it can be problematic to celebrate with food every time something good happens in your life, especially if you're having a very successful life!

If people consider themselves emotional eaters, we seek to help them identify the specific emotions that trigger their eating, and under what circumstances they occur. We start by using something called a hunger/fullness scale. The first step is to ask, "Am I really hungry?" We encourage people to become aware of their hunger and satiety cues and to analyze them realistically by saying, for example, "I might feel hungry, but I ate an hour ago. I'm not physically in need of food." The next step is to ask, in the moment a craving is occurring, "What do I really need? What's missing? Am I bored? Am I lonely?"

If you are bored, activity of some sort is the answer. If you are lonely, then an activity that involves people is ideal — for example, calling a friend and talking for a while. For people who eat to reward themselves, we suggest trying something else once in a while, such as treating themselves to a massage or a theater ticket, taking a hike, or escaping for an active long weekend. It isn't easy to break long-standing patterns, but it can be done.

Taming Cravings and urges

The keys to coping with cravings and urges are time delay and distraction. One simple strategy is simply to postpone the decision. We recommend that people do something else first and make the decision about the food they crave afterward — and to keep doing that as often as they need to until the craving passes. It sounds straightforward, and it is, but sometimes it's hard to sustain the effort needed in the face of a craving. It's not about trying to make the perfect decision in the moment — it's about making the next decision. For example, if I tell someone to meditate instead of eating pizza, the pizza is going to win. But if I tell that person to do a three-minute deep-breathing exercise first and then make the decision about the pizza, he or she can probably do that. It's a matter of fighting one battle at a time. Who knows — after the relaxation exercise, the craving may have passed. If not, the person can do one more thing before reaching for the pizza.
Delay can come in many forms, including going for a walk, listening to music, taking a bath, and talking on the phone with a friend. Too often, people want an easy answer to the problem of cravings and urges. But the solution is to follow the whole healthy eating program, which reduces the likelihood of having those cravings in the first place. Keep in mind that a "whole" program includes eating well-spaced meals, managing stress, and developing coping strategies. It all comes together and chips away at the cravings, day by day.

Lets stop obesity and invite good health

Okay okay before you say anything like " hey dude u were fat too once" i will open the secret myself only.Yes guys I,Avinash Agarwal swear on god that jo bhi kahunga sach kahunga aur sach ek alaava kuch nai khaaunga.On 15th March my weight checked was 108.25 kilograms.here are the remaining dates and my progress.
15th April-100(voila..century!!!)
15th May -94.5
15th June -89.8
15th July -82.7
15th Agust-76.09(this was a very very very tough period)
15th Sept -73.00(people no longer recognized the old Avinash..i had to introduce myself and then they thought someone was kiddin wid them)
15th October-69.6
1st December-63.25(now i was underweight..hehe).But the sheer feeling of lightness and good health makes me suggest every obese person to follow my footsteps.

Dheeeeloitte or Deloitte Consulting??

The only problem in working at Deloitte is that it is not yet a household brand in India like say Satyam or Infy or Wipro. So when I proudly say to my relatives and friends that I work for Deloitte Consulting , they think that it one of the dozens of job-consultancy companies sprouting all over Hyderabad

Worse still, other people do not comprehend the word “Deloitte” and tend to believe that iam some call center guy working in DELL

Now what worse abuse can there be for an Business Analyst.

Ramayana from a Yankee"s mouth

A young second generation Indian in the US was asked by his grandmother to explain the significance of "Diwali" to his younger brother, this is how he went about it...

".......So,like this dude had,like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him. But, like, his step-mom, or something, was kind of a bitch, and she forced her husband to, like, send this cool-dude, he was Ram, to some national forest or something... Since he was going, for like, something like more than 10 years or so.. he decided to get his wife and his bro along... you know...so that they could all chill out together.

But DUDE, the forest was reeeeal scary shit... really man...they had monkeys and devils and shit like that. But this dude, Ram, kicked ass with darts and bows and arrows... so it was fine. But then some bad gangsta boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his babe (Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And boy, was our man, and also his bro, Laxman, pissed... And you DON't piss this son-of-a-gun cuz, he just kicks ass and like...,all the gods were with him.. So anyways,you don't mess with gods. So, Ram, and his bro get an army of monkeys.. Dude, don't ask me how they trained the damn monkeys... just go along with me, ok... so, Ram, Lax and their monkeys whip this gangsta's ass in his own hood. Anyways, by this time, their time's up in the forest..and anyways...it gets kinda boring,you know... no TV or malls or shit like that.

So,they decided to hitch a ride back home... and when the people realize that our dude, his bro and the wife are back home... they thought, well, you know, at least they deserve something nice... and they didn't have any bars or clubs in those days...so they couldn't take them out for a drink,so they, like, decided to smoke and shit... and since they also had some lamps, they lit the lamps also... so it was pretty cooool...you know with all those fireworks.. Really, they even had some local band play along with the fireworks..and you know, what, dude, that was the very first, no kidding.., that was the very first music-synchronized fireworks..you know,like the 4th of July stuff, but just, more cooler and stuff, you know.

And,so dude, THAT was how, like, this festival started



His GrandMother fainted.

For all you stupid work-aholics out there like me......

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups -porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to hot coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups and were eyeing each other's cups.

Now if life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change. Some times, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it."

Don't let the cups drive you... Enjoy the coffee instead !!

Haha...whose ur daddy now??

You know what is awesome about being a writer? Or a director? Or a screenplay dude? Or some guy who brings things to life? You know, like god?

You don't have a friggin' clue. So I'll tell you.

It's that moment when you've got everyone's bums slipping off whatever kinda seat they are on, when everyone's got a big huge lump stuck in their throat, when their heartbeat's ascending and they are very really on the edge. It is that moment when they have no idea what's going to happen next and have invested some considerable amount of emotional energy into getting to that moment. It is that exact moment when you get to decide how they are going to feel, how they are going to sit back and be silenced by what just happened or throwing punches in the air in sheer delight. It is that control over the bloody minds of your audience is what is awesome. It is that moment when you are creating reality as it exists, if only in the minds of the audience. When you are playing out god's role, if only for a few seconds.

Imagine the screenplay writer of Cinderella Man or Seabiscuit or any other "wooohoo_moment" movie delaying the inevitable (the victory) and letting the audience slip into a state where they truly believe that the end would be any different from countless others. Imagine the director pulling the shots on those last 3-5 minutes before the conclusion. Imagine the music dude getting those high notes and the orchestra ready for that silent second and then gettin' 'em back on even higher and even more goosebump-inducing. Imagine the author deciding whether his book's ending will leave his readers putting down the book in a thoughtful silence or getting off that easy chair with a smile on their face. Imagine the guy behind Arlington Road or Kingpin or Inside Man smiling knowing that you'll have no idea what hit you when you are done.

So, dear ladies and gentlemen of the obscure FH blogging community, this post is a plea. For all of you to give back to that community which strives to entertain us and take us to the edge of our seats every single time. It's a plea for all you to stop going to imdb and checking out ratings, and to watch a movie for what it's worth. To suspend your disbelief entirely for those 90 mins or so, and let the movie play it's course. 'Cuz at the end of the day, it's not the end that matters, it's the anticipation of the inevitable that is so much fun. :)


Thank you.
Out.
Avi

PS: This post was never supposed to be meaningful, but hey...who the hell is that who's giving this blog 1881 views a weeK! :O So this is also a plea for all those people giving this blog and some 3 others 1000+ hits a week to go out there and read the other blogs! Even if they are selling saris and churidars or asking you whether you want to be a model or talking 'bout MLC elections.

Is FH still alive? Where is the new FH? :(

PPS: Watch Shalini Jain..Haha

UNRAVELING 'WOMENSPEAK'

Ever wondered what silent but strong femme talk is all about? Let us share some of our 'classified' knowledge:

• If the lady listens to you but refuses to reveal her true desires and intention, probably you could try a go-between. How about asking a common friend to play cupid?
• She meets you once, and the next time you propose, she not only agrees wholeheartedly, but is better dressed and groomed than before. Come on, you don't need us to tell you what that means?! Of course, she is more than interested in you!
• The lady seems to have taken a keen interest in you, but will not consent to her love interest…know what that means? She wants to be wooed with diamonds and roses! Take the cue, this one is more demanding than you thought!
• When the lady refuses to pay attention to you, probably because of her respect for you, or for herself, you still stand a fair chance of winning her over. Persuasion, once again is the handy tool!
• The lady reproaches you strongly for harbouring love interests in her makes you feel like heading to another pasture; however if she is affectionate in spite of her rapprochement, you just need to be a bit more persuasive!

MUST-KNOWS FOR CAMPUS PLACEMENT INTERVIEWS

Campus placement interviews are the key to getting your career started on the right foot. The secret lies in giving out the right vibes and saying the right things at the right time.

Display a learner's attitude: The 'I know it all' attitude is not going to impress any employer. Considering campus interviewees are freshers, employers will be more impressed by hearing something like, "I know the basics and I am willing to learn the rest". Show that you will mould yourself to their company and not vice versa.

Don't be full of yourself: Arrogance and narcissism have no place in a campus placement interview. Do not brag about your qualities but rather subtly display them before the placement jury in the way you respond to their queries.

Do your homework: Knowing about the company's history and key achievements shows your interviewer just how much effort you are willing to put in. Read up about your prospective employer/s on their website and keep yourself updated on any new developments there.

Be articulate and confident: Speaking too much won't make a good impression, but neither will not speaking enough. The trick lies in answering the questions articulately, clearly, providing only as much information as needed, with oodles of confidence.

Dress appropriately: Whimsical fashion statements have no place at a corporate interview while you may be more creative in your attire (though still on the conservative side) if applying for a job in a creative field. Girls must absolutely stay away from skimpy clothes. Keep the overall look elegant and dripping of professionalism.

American Born Confused Indian

India is the most frightening thing to have happened to this planet.Okay, now that I have your attention, let me save my life by clarifying I was just kidding. Actually, what people think about India is much more frightening. Surprisingly, many people out there do not know much about our country -- something that became evident to me when I moved to New York for a couple of months last year and was bombarded with questions about my origins.

India is poor. All Indians are Hindu. These are just some of the things I have heard in NY. And these are just two of the many stereotypes about Indian people and about India.

In one seminar , a friend once asked me if India was a land of "poor people." He had seen a video online that depicted the lives of people in India who were uneducated and under-nourished. My answer was a firm "no." I explained that although one can see poor people living on the streets, this was definitely not the case for everyone in India. India is full of smart and competent people who can rival the smartest in America. Not everyone in India is poor. There are many people who are very rich. India also has an influential middle class population. Poverty is more evident in India because it has one of the largest populations in the world (over 1 billion); if India had a lower population then it would probably have less poverty.

Another incident I recall was when I was reading in study hall and one of my best friend/colleague asked me if I could speak "Hindu." He was studying India in his history class and wanted to know more. It took me a while to understand what he was saying. I jokingly replied, "Yes. I can speak Hindu just like others can speak Christian and Muslim." He laughed and realised his mistake. I explained to him that Hindi is a language and Hinduism is a religion. I told him I am a Hindu but I speak Hindi. He looked somewhat confused and then asked me what the language "Indian" was. "No, 'Indian' is not a language," I replied. "Although there are hundreds of languages in India, 'Indian' is not one of them." That day I learned how little some people know about my country. They do not know much about the language and confuse it with religion. I wondered why the history teachers in my school neglected to teach the students about this aspect of India.


By now I thought I had heard it all; it turns out I was horribly wrong. I was eating lunch with my friends when someone from my previous class asked me, "Is it true that India has no electricity?" I must admit I was surprised. This was an unexpected question. I replied that some parts of India experience power outages often, but electricity is not a rare commodity. I told her that even though India has power outages the government is coming up with ideas to solve that problem.

"India has invested a lot of money into generating renewable power. It currently ranks as the 3rd largest wind energy producer and is advancing in other renewable resources," I added. She was a little shocked. I explained that I have been born and brought up in India and have noticed, over the years, that the number of power outages has significantly reduced in the capital city . Back then, the power went out many times a week, but now it is less frequent. In the end, she understood her views of India were wrong.

In three months of NY corporate experience, I have had some interesting experiences with my coleagues. Many people ask questions that can sometimes seem ridiculous, but almost every time it seems that something or someone had influenced their incorrect view of India. Whether it was a class or a video, the point is that India is not poor, has more than one language and does have electricity. Even though my classmates might have wrong views of India, I am glad they asks me these questions because I can quickly clear up their confusion that makes my country look like a 3rd world nation.

The Travails of Single South Indian Men

Yet another action packed weekend in Mumbai, full of fun, frolic and introspection. I have learnt many things. For example, having money when none of your friends have any is as good as not having any. And after spending much time in movie theatres, cafes and restaurants I have gathered many insights into the endless monotony that is the love life of south Indian men. What I have unearthed is most disheartening.

Disheartening because comprehension of these truths will not change our status anytime soon.

However, there is also cause for joy. We never stood a chance anyway.

What loads the dice against virile, gallant, well-educated, good looking, sincere mallus and tams? (Kandus were once among us, but Bangalore has changed all that.)

Our futures are shot to hell as soon as our parents bestow upon us names that are anything but alluring. I cannot imagine a more foolproof way of making sure the child remains single till classified advertisements or that maternal uncle in San Francisco thinks otherwise. Name him "Parthasarathy Venkatachalapthy" and his inherent capability to combat celibacy is obliterated before he could even talk. He will grow to be known as Partha. Before he knows, his smart, seductively named northy classmates start calling him Paratha. No woman in their right minds will go anyway near poor Parthasarathy. His investment banking job doesn't help either.

His employer loves him though. He has no personal life you see. By this time the Sanjay Singhs and Bobby Khans from his class have small businesses of their own and spend 60% of their lives in discos and pubs. The remaining 40% is spent coochi-cooing with leather and denim clad muses in their penthouse flats on Napean Sea Road. Business is safely in the hands of the Mallu manager. After all with a name like Blossom Babykutty he cant use his 30000 salary anywhere. Blossom gave up on society when in school they automatically enrolled him for Cookery Classes. Along with all the girls.
Yes my dear reader, nomenclature is the first nail in a coffin of neglect and hormonal pandemonium. In a kinder world, they would just name the poor southern male child and throw him off the balcony. "Yes appa, we have named him Goundamani..." THUD. Life would have been less kinder to him anyway.

If all the women the Upadhyays, Kumars, Pintos and, god forbid, the Sens and Roys in the world have met were distributed amongst the Arunkumars, Vadukuts and Chandramogans, we would all be merry casanovas with 3 to 4 pretty things at each arm. But alas, it is not to be. Of course the south!

Indian women have no such issues. They have names which are like sweet poetry to the ravenous northie hormone tanks. Picture this: "Welcome, and this is my family. This is my daughter Poorni (what a sweet name!!) and my son Ponnalagusamy (er... hello... )" Cyanide would not be fast enough for poor Samy. Nothing Samy does will help him. He can pump iron, drive fast cars and wear snazzy clothes, but against a brain-dead dude called Arjun Singhania, he has as much chance of getting any as a Benedictine Monk in a Saharan Seminary.

Couple this with the other failures that have plagued our existence. Any attempt at spiking hair with gel fails miserably. In an hour, I have a crown of greasy, smelly fibrous mush. My night ends there. However, the northy just has to scream "Wakaw!!!" and you have to peel the women off him to let him breathe. In a disco, while we can manage the medium hip shake with neck curls, once the Bhangra starts pumping, we are as fluid as cement and gravel in a mixer. Karan Kapoor or Jatin Thapar in the low cut jeans with chaddi strap showing and see through shirt throws his elbows perfectly, the cynosure of all attention.

The women love a man who digs pasta and fondue. But why do they not see the simple pleasures of curd rice and coconut chutney? When poor Senthilnathan opens his tiffin-box in the office lunch room, his female co-workers just dissappear when they see the tamarind rice and poppadums. The have all rematerialised around Bobby Singh who has ordered in Pizza and Garlic bread. (And they have the gall to talk of foreign origin.)

How can a man like me brought up in roomy lungis and oversized polyester shirts ever walk the walk in painted-on jeans (that makes a big impression) and neon-yellow rib-hugging t-shirts? All I can do is don my worn "comfort fit" jeans and floral shirt. Which is pretty low on the "Look at me lady" scale, just above fig leaf skirt and feather headgear a la caveman, and a mite below Khakhi Shirt over a red t-shirt and baggy khakhi pants and white trainers a la Rajni in "Badsha".

Sociologically too, the tam or mallu man is severely sidelined. An average tam-stud stays in a house with, on average, three grandparents, three sets of uncles and aunts, and over 10 children. Not the ideal atmosphere for some intimacy and some full-throated "WHOSE YOUR DADDY!!!" at the 3 in the morning. The mallu guy of course is almost always in the gulf working alone on some onshore oil-rig in the desert.

Rheumatic elbows me thinks.

Alas dear friends, we are not just meant to set the nights on fire. We are just not built to be "The Ladies Man". The black man has hip hop, the white man has rock, the southie guy only has idlis and tomato rasam or an NRI account in South Indian Bank Ernakulam Branch. Alas, as our destiny was determined in one fell swoop by our nomenclature, so will our future be. A nice arranged little love story. But the agony of course does not end there.

On the first night, as the stud sits on his bed finally within touching distance and whispers his sweet desires into her delectable ear, she blushes, turns around and whispers back "But amma has said only on second saturdays..."

Soap Suds for the Soul

Source:A fantabulous article
End of the year. I am sitting alongside of Janus, staring at the Ghost of the Christmas Past. The future won't begin until two days go by, where I stare from. Lessons from the previous year, whispers the apparition, so tell me. Ghosts are hard to exorcise. Ask
anyone who was ever in love. So I am forced to reflect.

Let us start with Madeleines. Yeah, the sweet, sea-shelled concoctions eternalized by Marcel Proust in his Remembrance of Things Past. Not that I have ever dared to read Proust. I get by happily with the essays on him. But first, the Madeleines. I encountered the existential version in reality and simply fell in love. Got to hand it over to the French, I say. From Chanel to chic, from cooking to cuckolding, no one beats the French. (Pardon, but wasn't Madame Bovary French after all?) Yes, Ghostie, I discovered the sweet bliss of biting into a milk soaked-fifteen seconds microwaved-and melting in the mouth-ambrosia. Amen for that.

It was Sarah Ban Breathnach who showcased that rare gem of a poem. A poet, obviously a woman, had discovered God in soap suds. The writer had been washing plates, as her soul traversed into its own heaven. So did I, this passing year. I discovered God in not just soap suds, but also in changing diapers. God just happens to be a kind Domestic Goddess for ordinary mothers like me. She understands how impossible it is to tune in to the intellectual proclivities of a higher order when there is that stubborn tomato sauce sticking onto the wash basin. Orhan Pamuk can wait a bit - I am Red - with exasperation; now that the stain has gone, what about Istanbul, sir?

Ah, Ghostie. After French cookies and domestic bliss, comes essays. Now, that is fodder for the craving heart and soul. Never judge an author by his novels, I say, but by his essays. Orhan Pamuk is a sheer joy to read. Brevity, he knows, is the soul of wit and wisdom. Besides, that earns him fans like me, who cannot afford to sit and read calmly for fifteen minutes at a stretch. In between two toddler nap times, three Pamuk essays (Other Colours) can be comfortably consumed.

Not so with Coetzee (Inner Workings). I struggled with his erudite essays and concluded that Disgrace had been a better read. I am just not into dense intellectual matter now. But still I tried Fuentes (This I believe). That man has charm and wit. If I cannot understand his metaphysics, I make do with what he writes of Women and Amor! After all, he finishes his essays in two pages. I am going to quote a line from one of his essays, which I have taken to heart. "Aun a pesar de las tinieblas, bella/Aun a pesar de las estrellas, clara." (Even in the face of darkness, lovely/Even in the face of stars, luminous.)

I also encountered a terrific writer called Judith Thurman, who introduced me to 39 forms of desire in a brilliant collection of her New York Times articles called 'Cleopatra's Nose'. And a slim volume called 'Learning to Drive', by Kathy Pollitt.
Humour gets to me any day. But really, Jorge Borges is wonderful in his non-fiction. I had to reprogram my brain which had only the name of Umberto Eco as the Intellectual It! It really sounds so cool and superior, Ghostie mine, to spout those famous names.

By the way, I did read a novel by Paul Auster - the first of his New York Trilogy. I grabbed it because his photograph was as handsome as that of the young Arthur Miller. Haunting, it certainly is - the face and the novel. But not for me the Code of Babel and abuse of innocence - even in the name of intellectual sublimation. However, I enjoyed Paulo Coelho's Zahir. For lilting poetry in prose, try him any day. Now, apart from Little Lulu and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, which my elder daughter sometimes allows me to share, I don't much remember anything else.

My Ghost looks disapprovingly at me. Arre bhai, I am not old Scrooge by the way. I need not pack a whole life time into one year, need I? Films, murmurs the apparition. Psheeew, man Ghostie, you got me this time. So after madeleines, domesticity and essays, comes films. Lord, what burns in Sidney Poitiers' eyes? Any person who loves the magic of films should watch "In the Heat of the Night" and "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner". If screen presence can be equated to a single actor, Hallelujah! And when one gets time, it is worthwhile to watch Gregory Peck enact Atticus Finch in "To Kill a Mocking Bird".

Ghostie is doing his calculations. That leaves an unaccounted 362 days, he coughs. Very boring existence, you seem to lead, my dear. Oh, but one lives intensely only on some days, I counter. And what we remember of those good times will help us plod on the rest of the year. Take it or leave it, Friend Casper.

Didn't a philosopher once define happiness as the feeling of being comfortable wherever you are, doing whatever you are doing, at the moment? I wish that feeling to all of you this new year. May all things bright and beautiful come your way, I pray. May our ordinary lives be blessed with the extraordinary gifts that are scattered abundantly around us. May we have the eyes to see and ears to listen to the whisperings of the soul. They came to me in soap suds, essays, Poitier films and madeleines the past year. And I am as thankful as can be.

Be blessed, the new year.

Welcome to the Click Society: The 2008 Mega Trends

We are simply not alone any longer, anywhere or anytime... not even in the most private rooms and quiet spaces that we so dearly cherish. All that beautiful décor and openness that we think is filled with fresh air is actually jam-packed with zillions of invisible
wireless messages, electronic signals, streaming videos, and all kinds of pulses that are fast forwarding our cyber-society of today. The special eye-wear that's currently under rapid-development to enable a three-dimensional spectrum view of digital flow in thin air, as seen in 'The Matrix', where free-floating, streams of digital information will surround us and shock our thinking. These digital signals cover us like a thick blanket, watching and awaiting every single electronic interaction of ours, recording, updating and profiling our habits and patterns based on consumption.

Deeply submerged in the cyber-ocean of information, there are two outcomes to this. Firstly, our existence as a hyper-consuming subject, the second is an interactive profiling system, built on super-sponge-technology that scans our present movements to predict our future ones, offering products and solutions which parallel the speed of our thinking. Sounds too sci-fi crazy, but in reality, it's yesterday's news.

There's more information about us out there this very second than we can imagine. After all, we're living under amazing times, like a very fast game of ping-pong, constant action and reaction to just about everything we act upon is being championed. It's so fast and so instant that it boggles the mind; any of your actionable pulses could go and come back around the globe in a split of a second. See? It just did. Technology has seriously flattened the earth and truly curved our daily lives; where cyber life-styles have us spinning into yogurt while the clocks seem going double the speed. It's hard to figure out with all the supposed ease of technology and open access where the time goes. Hours seem to be shrinking into minutes. Seconds? What seconds? The hamster-style mobility of the daily grind is keeping most of us from revolting. Even matters of distance have disappeared; you forget where you were few hours ago, which block, which airport, which Starbuck's, which country? The increasingly digital state of today's world has almost eliminated the dimension of time.

This digital miniaturization has blossomed into an interactive-hyper-connected world of mobile technology that has taken over as the most powerful of all new mediums so far. In this setting, the entire world becomes the largest shopping mall, the customer becomes the most powerful prowler, in search of deals, a universe of product and services opens up, and only those organization with commanding knowledge of global marketing response, cyber branding and cyber mobility are poised to make it in this curved space.

Also in the mix, a soup of multiple technologies and multiple skills combined to adopt multiple messages and unified under a master plan. These future products will hunt us down at the right time and opportunity, coming into play at that critical second just
before the purchase decision; striking like a moray eel when a little guppy gets closer. It's now like walking into thin air where you see absolutely nothing but the cyber blanket of invisible pulses and wireless information closely wrap around you; hugging you, having full access to knowledge about what credit cards you have in your pockets, your favorite magazines and your major purchases of the last year; all nicely alphabetically organized and manipulated to evaluate your taste, habits, preferences and even deep intentions. Your age, gender, habits and occupational profile are all digital blue-prints to decode your identity, style and spending. The cyber cloud hovers all around you as you approach various shops and your PDA beeps to inform you about a great offer on that watch you wanted, or will alert your bank about a potential overdraft when you enter a diamond shop. Failing to signal when changing lanes now appears on the balance of your next car insurance policy. No, this isn't a movie script, its old news.

Outbound Noise & Inbound Specificity

These zillions of day-to-day, small online interactions add-up, collectively developing your consumption profiles. The system can easily determine when you and how many of your friends are planning a trip to Rio, with what budget, and what airline. This information is a gold-mine to some in the travel business, while the same goes to hundreds of other various sectors. This highly-chicken for mequalified specificity has created a melt-down in the traditional world of advertising, which was historically based on creating wild outbound noise with bottomless budgets. A great thing century ago, but the online era is founded upon the specific pulse of inward consuming traffic.

The total change of old-media-structure is upon us. The last century gave us print society, where the printed word was power, and when only the literate could benefit from information, the ad industry started with a bang. The selling of goods and branding for mass consumerism become the bridge to most of the global economies and the concepts to produce and sell, earn and spend created the modern civilization. The conveyor belts of the process were managed by the ad industry and the herds of consumers were managed by the creative dangling of carrots by ads... Today, and each and every single day, the global ad industry easily spends over a billion dollars creating various types of branding and selling messages.

But now, most current online and cyber advertising techniques are meticulously precise, measurable and predictable. They have trimmed all the non-essential extra creative AD luggage and mega-budgets that allowed for the arrival of the 'MAD Men TV Series' produced
by the same team behind 'The Sopranos', correctly portraying the ad-machine that once created public hysteria and great consumer demands, but now lingers upon extinction like a dinosaur. This global rejection of the traditional ad-game is all over us, affecting newspapers, TV and all other ad-based mediums while a new trace-able, track-able, predictable, ROI model of one-to-one advertising sell-first-bill-later is getting a stronger hold.

The challenges are on two fronts. Firstly, a continuously modified mass scale selling of goods and services using traditional models which have fared well in the past. And Secondly, the urgent need of highly exuberant structures of specialized global service agencies, connecting customers on a one-to-one, per-need basis, using hyper-connected, cyber-marketing-processes. Both fronts are very serious and work towards creating a major shift. Ad shops have always excelled at the creativity component which separated them from the other related service sectors. They are once again required to come up with better ideas and solutions, as on the net, it now takes only seconds to copy, cut and paste the same recycled campaigns and their value being erased at cyber speed. The winners and losers will be determined based on speed to market response.

The 2008 Meltdowns

IBM's current study 'The END of Advertising as we know it' is a forceful document downloadable from their website. It clearly points how the old advertising models, crazy creativity that is now being replaced by highly organized pay-per-click formats, creating direct sales for clients on a sell-first, invoice-later basis. This creates a two-fold meltdown, one in which those agencies which remain still locked down in old models and other is the traditional free media worldwide which so far heavily relied on the Ad revenue.

The 2008 Boom

Clicks and more clicks. Anything that generates a click and results in a cascade of events will boom. There will be special gadgets to special services, from special click-based programs to special offerings. A kind of new click-sound to the click-economy, supporting search engine-based marketing, where the emphasis will be placed on finding a match between customers and immediate consumption issues is where advertising and marketing will park themselves.

The middlemen or the layer of services will offer clear, ROI-based campaigns and will, at times, have a huge surprise windfall for their highly productive campaigns as extra bonuses. Though, at the same time, the big drawback will be privacy, as there will be
extraordinary amounts of information made available to target customers.

The New Trends

A new emergence of a global desire to aim and create a Five Star Standard businesses is almost upon us. Just like a five star hotel, with services, quality and style, this desire to operate a business and offer services just like a five star standard hotel will reflect not only on the corporate brand and the product and services as goodwill ambassadors, but mainly in its hospitable services and 24-hour availability of staff to address those issues. The difference between a luxury home and a five star hotel is the hotel keeps an on-call staff, open switch-board, open kitchen the entire facility and the room service. This is how the corporations of the new era will have to function in order to earn the respect in a click-based round-the-clock society.

Asia is now beginning to offer 24-hour, fully-supported banking, buying and selling of properties, insurance, travel, and all kinds of hundreds of new services. Now, the customer demands and decides whenever, whatever and wherever the need is to be met. Only the players equipped to meet these spontaneous demands will have a chance. The creation of a fully-supported, 24X7 operation that will never close and perform transactions instantly is the new future. You would like to own those special glasses to see that blanket of streaming data hugging you right now... wouldn't you?

MEAN MESSAGES FOR MANAGEMENT!!!

Having chanced to read many an erudite article on " How to Retain Employees", I couldn't resist penning down some of the more common reasons in IT industry, which succeeds in driving out the talented - in droves.

Management not having a learning loop - In Engineering we call it the control loop. It makes sure that the feedback is constantly received, and used to adjust the inputs which reduces discrepancy in the optimal output.( Well, doesn't that sound deep?)

It translates into answering questions from Freshers like these:
Why am I, an IIT topper, put into a project on Mainframes?
Could you tell me some justification for recruiting so many when the transportation is in the primitive stages, still?
Could we not have as a part of the Induction phase, support, wherein the management helps us relocate, considering that we are from different parts of India dumped into this city?
Pray, what is the criterion, in putting us into different streams of technology?
I joined to work in exciting technical fields -but I am on bench. Worse, many are on bench but the management is still on a recruiting spree. Shouldn't I feel insecure?
Any answer is better than no answer at all. (Remember the zero stroke theory vs. Negative stroke theory?) But hardly any one bothers to answer intelligently. And the questions are repeated in every batch!
There starts the disillusionment of the young! Welcome to Corporate Life!


Work Profile Mismatch - Often the Management Graduates face a role mismatch, having been lured by the excellent compensation packages, and not too bothered by the profile. However as the days pass, Maslow starts grinning from the pages of that obscure OB book, and one chaffs at work which one feels can be done by any layman.


Recognition-to the Visible - Can't blame anyone here -that is the politik of company life. But often, in this industry, the best need not be the most vocal, the genius prefers to work away on his computer, the nerd who truly brings business is often a poor presenter.

But Awards go to the vocal, the visible, the loud. So do promotions. How many companies have a dual career track with different competency based assessment done for the twin ladders? So finally, the quiet engineer gets an "Average", on Presentation skills and the loud one an "Excellent". Marks to the loud one-isn't communication skills the crux of them all?

And since all the animals have to do all the things the eel who can do a little bit of everything wins in the end*.


Work-Life Circus - It is not a mere circus anymore. More and more couples feel the strain of life in IT, with deadlines, pressures and travel taking its toll on home and balance. And if you have a young child, God save you!

When the Factories Act, 1948 was envisaged and amended, they never visualized an industry like IT. No one had dared (Correct me if I am wrong) to challenge many a practice of IT companies under the Factories Act. For it says for every 30 women working in a industry, there has to be a crèche. We have gyms, tennis courts, bars and coffee shops, golf clubs, but crèches? After all young women will forever remain young and childless in IT companies. Aren't they liberated? Out goes the young mother. (Who aced her B.E/MBA?)


Lost Identity - Maslow grinning again. While all of us cannot be Gurcharan Das, who could pen masterpieces along with managing an MNC, one still aspires for self-actualization.

True, many IT companies help in getting that dusty guitar out and shake a leg, and kill a fellow debater, but how many help channelise all that youthful pizzazz into something more meaningful to the individual?

It is more than " Small-Is-Wonderful", which drives the guy out to a dotcom or startup. It is the need to be recognized as himself/herself and not just as another face in the mess queue. Solutions, anyone?


Hierarchy and Bureaucracy - As an organization gets bigger, it loses all the advantages of being lithe, young, and agile. It is the Crisis of Bureaucracy, which will step in to control huge amounts of data and personnel. However, even after having achieved SEI-CMM Level 5 as a company, when service departments like maintenance or personnel, fails to respond to an immediate query, one feels like stranded in the sands of Indian civil service. How soon to that standard?

Chronic haters of hierarchy (There are software companies which insist on calling your superior Sir and fine you for talking your mother tongue though you are forty years old) make a beeline for exit when they face these twin monsters.

It is time that we address many issues like these, with sensitivity and intelligence. For more often than not, it is neither the hot pay packet nor the foreign trip that attracts the brilliant techie/MBA out of the company. It just could be something related to dear old Maslow.

CHAT ABBREVIATIONS!!!

AFAIK -- As Far As I Know
AFK -- Away From Keyboard
ASAP -- As Soon As Possible
BAS -- Big A** Smile
BBL -- Be Back Later
BBN -- Bye Bye Now
BBS -- Be Back Soon
BEG -- Big Evil Grin
BF -- Boyfriend
BIBO -- Beer In, Beer Out
BRB -- Be Right Back
BTW -- By The Way
BWL -- Bursting With Laughter
C&G -- Chuckle and Grin
CICO -- Coffee In, Coffee Out
CID -- Crying In Disgrace
CNP -- Continued (in my) Next Post
CP -- Chat Post(a chat message)
CRBT -- Crying Real Big Tears
CSG -- Chuckle Snicker Grin
CYA -- See You (Seeya)
CYAL8R -- See You Later (Seeyalata)
DLTBBB -- Don't Let The Bed Bugs Bite
EG -- Evil Grin
EMSG -- Email Message
FC -- Fingers Crossed
FTBOMH -- From The Bottom Of My Heart
FYI -- For Your Information
FWIW -- For What It's Worth
GAL -- Get A Life
GF -- Girlfriend
GFN -- Gone For Now
GMBA -- Giggling My Butt Off
GMTA -- Great Minds Think Alike
GTSY -- Glad To See You
H&K -- Hug and Kiss
HABU -- Have A Better 'Un
HAGN -- Have A Good Night
HAGU -- Have A Good 'Un
HHIS -- Hanging Head in Shame
HUB -- Head Up Butt
IAE -- In Any Event
IC -- I See
IGP -- I Gotta Pee
IMNSHO -- In My Not So Humble Opinion
IMO -- In My Opinion
IMCO -- In My Considered Opinion
IMHO -- In My Humble Opinion
IOW -- In Other Words
IRL -- In Real Life
IWALU -- I Will Always Love You
JMO -- Just My Opinion
JTLYK -- Just To Let You Know
KIT -- Keep In Touch
KOC -- Kiss On Cheek
KOL -- Kiss On Lips
L8R -- Later
L8R -- G8R Later 'Gater
LHM -- Lord Help Me
LHO -- Laughing Head Off
LHU -- Lord Help Us
LMAO -- Laughing My A$$ Off
LMSO -- Laughing My Socks Off
LOL -- Laugh Out Loud
LSHMBB -- Laughing So Hard My Belly is Bouncing
LSHMBH -- Laughing So Hard My Belly Hurts
LSHTTARDML -- Laughing So Hard The Tears Are Running Down My Leg
LTNS -- Long Time No See
LTS -- Laughing To Self
LUWAMH -- Love You With All My Heart
LY -- Love Ya
MTF -- More To Follow
NRN -- No Reply Necessary
NADT -- Not A Darn Thing
OIC -- Oh, I See
OL -- Old Lady (significant other)
OM -- Old Man (significant other)
OTOH -- On The Other Hand
OTTOMH -- Off The Top of My Head
PDS -- Please Don't Shoot
PITA -- Pain In The A**
PM -- Private Message
PMFJI -- Pardon Me For Jumping In
PMP -- Peed My Pants
POAHF -- Put On A Happy Face
QSL -- Reply
QSO -- Conversation
QT -- Cutie
ROFL -- Rolling On Floor Laughing
ROFLAPMP -- ROFL And Peeing My Pants
ROFLMAO -- ROFL My A** Off
ROFLMAOAY -- ROFLMAO At You
ROFLMAOWTIME -- ROFLMAO With Tears In My Eyes
ROFLUTS ROFL -- Unable to Speak
RTFM -- Read The F****** Manual!
SETE -- Smiling Ear To Ear
SHID -- Slaps Head In Disgust
SNERT -- Snot-Nosed Egotistical Rude Teenager
SO -- Significant Other
SOT -- Short Of Time
SOTMG -- Short Of Time Must Go
SWAK -- Sealed With A Kiss
SWAS -- Scientific Wild A** Guess
SWL -- Screaming with Laughter
SYS -- See You Soon
TA -- Thanks Again
TGIF -- Thank God It's Friday
TCOY -- Take Care Of Yourself
TILII -- Tell It Like It Is
TNT -- Till Next Time
TOY -- Thinking Of You
TTFN -- Ta Ta For Now
TTYL -- Talk To You Later
WAS -- Wild A** Guess
WB -- Welcome Back
WTH -- What/Who The Heck (or sub an 'F' for the 'H')
YBS -- You'll Be Sorry
YG -- Young Gentleman
YL -- Young Lady
YM -- Young Man

:-| -- Ambivalent
o:-) -- Angelic
>:-( -- Angry
|-I -- Asleep
(::()::) -- Bandaid
:-{} -- Blowing a Kiss
\-o -- Bored
:-c -- Bummed Out
|C| -- Can of Coke
|P| -- Can of Pepsi
:( ) -- Can't Stop Talking
:*) -- Clowning
:' -- Crying
:'-) -- Crying with Joy
:'-( -- Crying Sadly
:-9 -- Delicious, Yummy
:-> -- Devilish
;-> -- Devilish Wink
:P -- Disgusted (sticking out tongue)
:*) -- Drunk
:-6 -- Exhausted, Wiped Out
:( -- Frown
\~/ -- Full Glass
\_/ -- Glass (drink)
^5 -- High Five
(((((name)))) -- Hug (cyber hug)
(( )):** -- Hugs and Kisses
:-I -- Indifferent
:-# -- Lips are Sealed
:~/ -- Mixed Up
:-O -- Mouth Open (Surprised)
(_) -- Mug (coffee, beer)
@[_]~~ -- Mug of HOT Coffee or Tea
**** -- Popcorn
&&&& -- Pretzels
@}--{--{-- -- Rose
:-@ -- Screaming
:-O -- Shocked
:-) -- Smile
^ -- Thumbs Up
:-& -- Tongue Tied
:-\ -- Undecided
;-) -- Wink
|-O -- Yawning
c[T] -- cup of tea
c[C] -- cup of coffee
(%> -- pizza
,,l, -- the finger
>^-^< -- cats
(_\_)(_|_)(_/_) -- dancing ass off
:-Þ~ -- drooling
?€?€ -- hiding, staring in the dark.
{\o/} -- angel
:-------) -- Viagra smile