Yet another action packed weekend in Mumbai, full of fun, frolic and introspection. I have learnt many things. For example, having money when none of your friends have any is as good as not having any. And after spending much time in movie theatres, cafes and restaurants I have gathered many insights into the endless monotony that is the love life of south Indian men. What I have unearthed is most disheartening.
Disheartening because comprehension of these truths will not change our status anytime soon.
However, there is also cause for joy. We never stood a chance anyway.
What loads the dice against virile, gallant, well-educated, good looking, sincere mallus and tams? (Kandus were once among us, but Bangalore has changed all that.)
Our futures are shot to hell as soon as our parents bestow upon us names that are anything but alluring. I cannot imagine a more foolproof way of making sure the child remains single till classified advertisements or that maternal uncle in San Francisco thinks otherwise. Name him "Parthasarathy Venkatachalapthy" and his inherent capability to combat celibacy is obliterated before he could even talk. He will grow to be known as Partha. Before he knows, his smart, seductively named northy classmates start calling him Paratha. No woman in their right minds will go anyway near poor Parthasarathy. His investment banking job doesn't help either.
His employer loves him though. He has no personal life you see. By this time the Sanjay Singhs and Bobby Khans from his class have small businesses of their own and spend 60% of their lives in discos and pubs. The remaining 40% is spent coochi-cooing with leather and denim clad muses in their penthouse flats on Napean Sea Road. Business is safely in the hands of the Mallu manager. After all with a name like Blossom Babykutty he cant use his 30000 salary anywhere. Blossom gave up on society when in school they automatically enrolled him for Cookery Classes. Along with all the girls.
Yes my dear reader, nomenclature is the first nail in a coffin of neglect and hormonal pandemonium. In a kinder world, they would just name the poor southern male child and throw him off the balcony. "Yes appa, we have named him Goundamani..." THUD. Life would have been less kinder to him anyway.
If all the women the Upadhyays, Kumars, Pintos and, god forbid, the Sens and Roys in the world have met were distributed amongst the Arunkumars, Vadukuts and Chandramogans, we would all be merry casanovas with 3 to 4 pretty things at each arm. But alas, it is not to be. Of course the south!
Indian women have no such issues. They have names which are like sweet poetry to the ravenous northie hormone tanks. Picture this: "Welcome, and this is my family. This is my daughter Poorni (what a sweet name!!) and my son Ponnalagusamy (er... hello... )" Cyanide would not be fast enough for poor Samy. Nothing Samy does will help him. He can pump iron, drive fast cars and wear snazzy clothes, but against a brain-dead dude called Arjun Singhania, he has as much chance of getting any as a Benedictine Monk in a Saharan Seminary.
Couple this with the other failures that have plagued our existence. Any attempt at spiking hair with gel fails miserably. In an hour, I have a crown of greasy, smelly fibrous mush. My night ends there. However, the northy just has to scream "Wakaw!!!" and you have to peel the women off him to let him breathe. In a disco, while we can manage the medium hip shake with neck curls, once the Bhangra starts pumping, we are as fluid as cement and gravel in a mixer. Karan Kapoor or Jatin Thapar in the low cut jeans with chaddi strap showing and see through shirt throws his elbows perfectly, the cynosure of all attention.
The women love a man who digs pasta and fondue. But why do they not see the simple pleasures of curd rice and coconut chutney? When poor Senthilnathan opens his tiffin-box in the office lunch room, his female co-workers just dissappear when they see the tamarind rice and poppadums. The have all rematerialised around Bobby Singh who has ordered in Pizza and Garlic bread. (And they have the gall to talk of foreign origin.)
How can a man like me brought up in roomy lungis and oversized polyester shirts ever walk the walk in painted-on jeans (that makes a big impression) and neon-yellow rib-hugging t-shirts? All I can do is don my worn "comfort fit" jeans and floral shirt. Which is pretty low on the "Look at me lady" scale, just above fig leaf skirt and feather headgear a la caveman, and a mite below Khakhi Shirt over a red t-shirt and baggy khakhi pants and white trainers a la Rajni in "Badsha".
Sociologically too, the tam or mallu man is severely sidelined. An average tam-stud stays in a house with, on average, three grandparents, three sets of uncles and aunts, and over 10 children. Not the ideal atmosphere for some intimacy and some full-throated "WHOSE YOUR DADDY!!!" at the 3 in the morning. The mallu guy of course is almost always in the gulf working alone on some onshore oil-rig in the desert.
Rheumatic elbows me thinks.
Alas dear friends, we are not just meant to set the nights on fire. We are just not built to be "The Ladies Man". The black man has hip hop, the white man has rock, the southie guy only has idlis and tomato rasam or an NRI account in South Indian Bank Ernakulam Branch. Alas, as our destiny was determined in one fell swoop by our nomenclature, so will our future be. A nice arranged little love story. But the agony of course does not end there.
On the first night, as the stud sits on his bed finally within touching distance and whispers his sweet desires into her delectable ear, she blushes, turns around and whispers back "But amma has said only on second saturdays..."
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Soap Suds for the Soul
Source:A fantabulous article
End of the year. I am sitting alongside of Janus, staring at the Ghost of the Christmas Past. The future won't begin until two days go by, where I stare from. Lessons from the previous year, whispers the apparition, so tell me. Ghosts are hard to exorcise. Ask
anyone who was ever in love. So I am forced to reflect.
Let us start with Madeleines. Yeah, the sweet, sea-shelled concoctions eternalized by Marcel Proust in his Remembrance of Things Past. Not that I have ever dared to read Proust. I get by happily with the essays on him. But first, the Madeleines. I encountered the existential version in reality and simply fell in love. Got to hand it over to the French, I say. From Chanel to chic, from cooking to cuckolding, no one beats the French. (Pardon, but wasn't Madame Bovary French after all?) Yes, Ghostie, I discovered the sweet bliss of biting into a milk soaked-fifteen seconds microwaved-and melting in the mouth-ambrosia. Amen for that.
It was Sarah Ban Breathnach who showcased that rare gem of a poem. A poet, obviously a woman, had discovered God in soap suds. The writer had been washing plates, as her soul traversed into its own heaven. So did I, this passing year. I discovered God in not just soap suds, but also in changing diapers. God just happens to be a kind Domestic Goddess for ordinary mothers like me. She understands how impossible it is to tune in to the intellectual proclivities of a higher order when there is that stubborn tomato sauce sticking onto the wash basin. Orhan Pamuk can wait a bit - I am Red - with exasperation; now that the stain has gone, what about Istanbul, sir?
Ah, Ghostie. After French cookies and domestic bliss, comes essays. Now, that is fodder for the craving heart and soul. Never judge an author by his novels, I say, but by his essays. Orhan Pamuk is a sheer joy to read. Brevity, he knows, is the soul of wit and wisdom. Besides, that earns him fans like me, who cannot afford to sit and read calmly for fifteen minutes at a stretch. In between two toddler nap times, three Pamuk essays (Other Colours) can be comfortably consumed.
Not so with Coetzee (Inner Workings). I struggled with his erudite essays and concluded that Disgrace had been a better read. I am just not into dense intellectual matter now. But still I tried Fuentes (This I believe). That man has charm and wit. If I cannot understand his metaphysics, I make do with what he writes of Women and Amor! After all, he finishes his essays in two pages. I am going to quote a line from one of his essays, which I have taken to heart. "Aun a pesar de las tinieblas, bella/Aun a pesar de las estrellas, clara." (Even in the face of darkness, lovely/Even in the face of stars, luminous.)
I also encountered a terrific writer called Judith Thurman, who introduced me to 39 forms of desire in a brilliant collection of her New York Times articles called 'Cleopatra's Nose'. And a slim volume called 'Learning to Drive', by Kathy Pollitt.
Humour gets to me any day. But really, Jorge Borges is wonderful in his non-fiction. I had to reprogram my brain which had only the name of Umberto Eco as the Intellectual It! It really sounds so cool and superior, Ghostie mine, to spout those famous names.
By the way, I did read a novel by Paul Auster - the first of his New York Trilogy. I grabbed it because his photograph was as handsome as that of the young Arthur Miller. Haunting, it certainly is - the face and the novel. But not for me the Code of Babel and abuse of innocence - even in the name of intellectual sublimation. However, I enjoyed Paulo Coelho's Zahir. For lilting poetry in prose, try him any day. Now, apart from Little Lulu and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, which my elder daughter sometimes allows me to share, I don't much remember anything else.
My Ghost looks disapprovingly at me. Arre bhai, I am not old Scrooge by the way. I need not pack a whole life time into one year, need I? Films, murmurs the apparition. Psheeew, man Ghostie, you got me this time. So after madeleines, domesticity and essays, comes films. Lord, what burns in Sidney Poitiers' eyes? Any person who loves the magic of films should watch "In the Heat of the Night" and "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner". If screen presence can be equated to a single actor, Hallelujah! And when one gets time, it is worthwhile to watch Gregory Peck enact Atticus Finch in "To Kill a Mocking Bird".
Ghostie is doing his calculations. That leaves an unaccounted 362 days, he coughs. Very boring existence, you seem to lead, my dear. Oh, but one lives intensely only on some days, I counter. And what we remember of those good times will help us plod on the rest of the year. Take it or leave it, Friend Casper.
Didn't a philosopher once define happiness as the feeling of being comfortable wherever you are, doing whatever you are doing, at the moment? I wish that feeling to all of you this new year. May all things bright and beautiful come your way, I pray. May our ordinary lives be blessed with the extraordinary gifts that are scattered abundantly around us. May we have the eyes to see and ears to listen to the whisperings of the soul. They came to me in soap suds, essays, Poitier films and madeleines the past year. And I am as thankful as can be.
Be blessed, the new year.
End of the year. I am sitting alongside of Janus, staring at the Ghost of the Christmas Past. The future won't begin until two days go by, where I stare from. Lessons from the previous year, whispers the apparition, so tell me. Ghosts are hard to exorcise. Ask
anyone who was ever in love. So I am forced to reflect.
Let us start with Madeleines. Yeah, the sweet, sea-shelled concoctions eternalized by Marcel Proust in his Remembrance of Things Past. Not that I have ever dared to read Proust. I get by happily with the essays on him. But first, the Madeleines. I encountered the existential version in reality and simply fell in love. Got to hand it over to the French, I say. From Chanel to chic, from cooking to cuckolding, no one beats the French. (Pardon, but wasn't Madame Bovary French after all?) Yes, Ghostie, I discovered the sweet bliss of biting into a milk soaked-fifteen seconds microwaved-and melting in the mouth-ambrosia. Amen for that.
It was Sarah Ban Breathnach who showcased that rare gem of a poem. A poet, obviously a woman, had discovered God in soap suds. The writer had been washing plates, as her soul traversed into its own heaven. So did I, this passing year. I discovered God in not just soap suds, but also in changing diapers. God just happens to be a kind Domestic Goddess for ordinary mothers like me. She understands how impossible it is to tune in to the intellectual proclivities of a higher order when there is that stubborn tomato sauce sticking onto the wash basin. Orhan Pamuk can wait a bit - I am Red - with exasperation; now that the stain has gone, what about Istanbul, sir?
Ah, Ghostie. After French cookies and domestic bliss, comes essays. Now, that is fodder for the craving heart and soul. Never judge an author by his novels, I say, but by his essays. Orhan Pamuk is a sheer joy to read. Brevity, he knows, is the soul of wit and wisdom. Besides, that earns him fans like me, who cannot afford to sit and read calmly for fifteen minutes at a stretch. In between two toddler nap times, three Pamuk essays (Other Colours) can be comfortably consumed.
Not so with Coetzee (Inner Workings). I struggled with his erudite essays and concluded that Disgrace had been a better read. I am just not into dense intellectual matter now. But still I tried Fuentes (This I believe). That man has charm and wit. If I cannot understand his metaphysics, I make do with what he writes of Women and Amor! After all, he finishes his essays in two pages. I am going to quote a line from one of his essays, which I have taken to heart. "Aun a pesar de las tinieblas, bella/Aun a pesar de las estrellas, clara." (Even in the face of darkness, lovely/Even in the face of stars, luminous.)
I also encountered a terrific writer called Judith Thurman, who introduced me to 39 forms of desire in a brilliant collection of her New York Times articles called 'Cleopatra's Nose'. And a slim volume called 'Learning to Drive', by Kathy Pollitt.
Humour gets to me any day. But really, Jorge Borges is wonderful in his non-fiction. I had to reprogram my brain which had only the name of Umberto Eco as the Intellectual It! It really sounds so cool and superior, Ghostie mine, to spout those famous names.
By the way, I did read a novel by Paul Auster - the first of his New York Trilogy. I grabbed it because his photograph was as handsome as that of the young Arthur Miller. Haunting, it certainly is - the face and the novel. But not for me the Code of Babel and abuse of innocence - even in the name of intellectual sublimation. However, I enjoyed Paulo Coelho's Zahir. For lilting poetry in prose, try him any day. Now, apart from Little Lulu and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, which my elder daughter sometimes allows me to share, I don't much remember anything else.
My Ghost looks disapprovingly at me. Arre bhai, I am not old Scrooge by the way. I need not pack a whole life time into one year, need I? Films, murmurs the apparition. Psheeew, man Ghostie, you got me this time. So after madeleines, domesticity and essays, comes films. Lord, what burns in Sidney Poitiers' eyes? Any person who loves the magic of films should watch "In the Heat of the Night" and "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner". If screen presence can be equated to a single actor, Hallelujah! And when one gets time, it is worthwhile to watch Gregory Peck enact Atticus Finch in "To Kill a Mocking Bird".
Ghostie is doing his calculations. That leaves an unaccounted 362 days, he coughs. Very boring existence, you seem to lead, my dear. Oh, but one lives intensely only on some days, I counter. And what we remember of those good times will help us plod on the rest of the year. Take it or leave it, Friend Casper.
Didn't a philosopher once define happiness as the feeling of being comfortable wherever you are, doing whatever you are doing, at the moment? I wish that feeling to all of you this new year. May all things bright and beautiful come your way, I pray. May our ordinary lives be blessed with the extraordinary gifts that are scattered abundantly around us. May we have the eyes to see and ears to listen to the whisperings of the soul. They came to me in soap suds, essays, Poitier films and madeleines the past year. And I am as thankful as can be.
Be blessed, the new year.
Welcome to the Click Society: The 2008 Mega Trends
We are simply not alone any longer, anywhere or anytime... not even in the most private rooms and quiet spaces that we so dearly cherish. All that beautiful décor and openness that we think is filled with fresh air is actually jam-packed with zillions of invisible
wireless messages, electronic signals, streaming videos, and all kinds of pulses that are fast forwarding our cyber-society of today. The special eye-wear that's currently under rapid-development to enable a three-dimensional spectrum view of digital flow in thin air, as seen in 'The Matrix', where free-floating, streams of digital information will surround us and shock our thinking. These digital signals cover us like a thick blanket, watching and awaiting every single electronic interaction of ours, recording, updating and profiling our habits and patterns based on consumption.
Deeply submerged in the cyber-ocean of information, there are two outcomes to this. Firstly, our existence as a hyper-consuming subject, the second is an interactive profiling system, built on super-sponge-technology that scans our present movements to predict our future ones, offering products and solutions which parallel the speed of our thinking. Sounds too sci-fi crazy, but in reality, it's yesterday's news.
There's more information about us out there this very second than we can imagine. After all, we're living under amazing times, like a very fast game of ping-pong, constant action and reaction to just about everything we act upon is being championed. It's so fast and so instant that it boggles the mind; any of your actionable pulses could go and come back around the globe in a split of a second. See? It just did. Technology has seriously flattened the earth and truly curved our daily lives; where cyber life-styles have us spinning into yogurt while the clocks seem going double the speed. It's hard to figure out with all the supposed ease of technology and open access where the time goes. Hours seem to be shrinking into minutes. Seconds? What seconds? The hamster-style mobility of the daily grind is keeping most of us from revolting. Even matters of distance have disappeared; you forget where you were few hours ago, which block, which airport, which Starbuck's, which country? The increasingly digital state of today's world has almost eliminated the dimension of time.
This digital miniaturization has blossomed into an interactive-hyper-connected world of mobile technology that has taken over as the most powerful of all new mediums so far. In this setting, the entire world becomes the largest shopping mall, the customer becomes the most powerful prowler, in search of deals, a universe of product and services opens up, and only those organization with commanding knowledge of global marketing response, cyber branding and cyber mobility are poised to make it in this curved space.
Also in the mix, a soup of multiple technologies and multiple skills combined to adopt multiple messages and unified under a master plan. These future products will hunt us down at the right time and opportunity, coming into play at that critical second just
before the purchase decision; striking like a moray eel when a little guppy gets closer. It's now like walking into thin air where you see absolutely nothing but the cyber blanket of invisible pulses and wireless information closely wrap around you; hugging you, having full access to knowledge about what credit cards you have in your pockets, your favorite magazines and your major purchases of the last year; all nicely alphabetically organized and manipulated to evaluate your taste, habits, preferences and even deep intentions. Your age, gender, habits and occupational profile are all digital blue-prints to decode your identity, style and spending. The cyber cloud hovers all around you as you approach various shops and your PDA beeps to inform you about a great offer on that watch you wanted, or will alert your bank about a potential overdraft when you enter a diamond shop. Failing to signal when changing lanes now appears on the balance of your next car insurance policy. No, this isn't a movie script, its old news.
Outbound Noise & Inbound Specificity
These zillions of day-to-day, small online interactions add-up, collectively developing your consumption profiles. The system can easily determine when you and how many of your friends are planning a trip to Rio, with what budget, and what airline. This information is a gold-mine to some in the travel business, while the same goes to hundreds of other various sectors. This highly-chicken for mequalified specificity has created a melt-down in the traditional world of advertising, which was historically based on creating wild outbound noise with bottomless budgets. A great thing century ago, but the online era is founded upon the specific pulse of inward consuming traffic.
The total change of old-media-structure is upon us. The last century gave us print society, where the printed word was power, and when only the literate could benefit from information, the ad industry started with a bang. The selling of goods and branding for mass consumerism become the bridge to most of the global economies and the concepts to produce and sell, earn and spend created the modern civilization. The conveyor belts of the process were managed by the ad industry and the herds of consumers were managed by the creative dangling of carrots by ads... Today, and each and every single day, the global ad industry easily spends over a billion dollars creating various types of branding and selling messages.
But now, most current online and cyber advertising techniques are meticulously precise, measurable and predictable. They have trimmed all the non-essential extra creative AD luggage and mega-budgets that allowed for the arrival of the 'MAD Men TV Series' produced
by the same team behind 'The Sopranos', correctly portraying the ad-machine that once created public hysteria and great consumer demands, but now lingers upon extinction like a dinosaur. This global rejection of the traditional ad-game is all over us, affecting newspapers, TV and all other ad-based mediums while a new trace-able, track-able, predictable, ROI model of one-to-one advertising sell-first-bill-later is getting a stronger hold.
The challenges are on two fronts. Firstly, a continuously modified mass scale selling of goods and services using traditional models which have fared well in the past. And Secondly, the urgent need of highly exuberant structures of specialized global service agencies, connecting customers on a one-to-one, per-need basis, using hyper-connected, cyber-marketing-processes. Both fronts are very serious and work towards creating a major shift. Ad shops have always excelled at the creativity component which separated them from the other related service sectors. They are once again required to come up with better ideas and solutions, as on the net, it now takes only seconds to copy, cut and paste the same recycled campaigns and their value being erased at cyber speed. The winners and losers will be determined based on speed to market response.
The 2008 Meltdowns
IBM's current study 'The END of Advertising as we know it' is a forceful document downloadable from their website. It clearly points how the old advertising models, crazy creativity that is now being replaced by highly organized pay-per-click formats, creating direct sales for clients on a sell-first, invoice-later basis. This creates a two-fold meltdown, one in which those agencies which remain still locked down in old models and other is the traditional free media worldwide which so far heavily relied on the Ad revenue.
The 2008 Boom
Clicks and more clicks. Anything that generates a click and results in a cascade of events will boom. There will be special gadgets to special services, from special click-based programs to special offerings. A kind of new click-sound to the click-economy, supporting search engine-based marketing, where the emphasis will be placed on finding a match between customers and immediate consumption issues is where advertising and marketing will park themselves.
The middlemen or the layer of services will offer clear, ROI-based campaigns and will, at times, have a huge surprise windfall for their highly productive campaigns as extra bonuses. Though, at the same time, the big drawback will be privacy, as there will be
extraordinary amounts of information made available to target customers.
The New Trends
A new emergence of a global desire to aim and create a Five Star Standard businesses is almost upon us. Just like a five star hotel, with services, quality and style, this desire to operate a business and offer services just like a five star standard hotel will reflect not only on the corporate brand and the product and services as goodwill ambassadors, but mainly in its hospitable services and 24-hour availability of staff to address those issues. The difference between a luxury home and a five star hotel is the hotel keeps an on-call staff, open switch-board, open kitchen the entire facility and the room service. This is how the corporations of the new era will have to function in order to earn the respect in a click-based round-the-clock society.
Asia is now beginning to offer 24-hour, fully-supported banking, buying and selling of properties, insurance, travel, and all kinds of hundreds of new services. Now, the customer demands and decides whenever, whatever and wherever the need is to be met. Only the players equipped to meet these spontaneous demands will have a chance. The creation of a fully-supported, 24X7 operation that will never close and perform transactions instantly is the new future. You would like to own those special glasses to see that blanket of streaming data hugging you right now... wouldn't you?
wireless messages, electronic signals, streaming videos, and all kinds of pulses that are fast forwarding our cyber-society of today. The special eye-wear that's currently under rapid-development to enable a three-dimensional spectrum view of digital flow in thin air, as seen in 'The Matrix', where free-floating, streams of digital information will surround us and shock our thinking. These digital signals cover us like a thick blanket, watching and awaiting every single electronic interaction of ours, recording, updating and profiling our habits and patterns based on consumption.
Deeply submerged in the cyber-ocean of information, there are two outcomes to this. Firstly, our existence as a hyper-consuming subject, the second is an interactive profiling system, built on super-sponge-technology that scans our present movements to predict our future ones, offering products and solutions which parallel the speed of our thinking. Sounds too sci-fi crazy, but in reality, it's yesterday's news.
There's more information about us out there this very second than we can imagine. After all, we're living under amazing times, like a very fast game of ping-pong, constant action and reaction to just about everything we act upon is being championed. It's so fast and so instant that it boggles the mind; any of your actionable pulses could go and come back around the globe in a split of a second. See? It just did. Technology has seriously flattened the earth and truly curved our daily lives; where cyber life-styles have us spinning into yogurt while the clocks seem going double the speed. It's hard to figure out with all the supposed ease of technology and open access where the time goes. Hours seem to be shrinking into minutes. Seconds? What seconds? The hamster-style mobility of the daily grind is keeping most of us from revolting. Even matters of distance have disappeared; you forget where you were few hours ago, which block, which airport, which Starbuck's, which country? The increasingly digital state of today's world has almost eliminated the dimension of time.
This digital miniaturization has blossomed into an interactive-hyper-connected world of mobile technology that has taken over as the most powerful of all new mediums so far. In this setting, the entire world becomes the largest shopping mall, the customer becomes the most powerful prowler, in search of deals, a universe of product and services opens up, and only those organization with commanding knowledge of global marketing response, cyber branding and cyber mobility are poised to make it in this curved space.
Also in the mix, a soup of multiple technologies and multiple skills combined to adopt multiple messages and unified under a master plan. These future products will hunt us down at the right time and opportunity, coming into play at that critical second just
before the purchase decision; striking like a moray eel when a little guppy gets closer. It's now like walking into thin air where you see absolutely nothing but the cyber blanket of invisible pulses and wireless information closely wrap around you; hugging you, having full access to knowledge about what credit cards you have in your pockets, your favorite magazines and your major purchases of the last year; all nicely alphabetically organized and manipulated to evaluate your taste, habits, preferences and even deep intentions. Your age, gender, habits and occupational profile are all digital blue-prints to decode your identity, style and spending. The cyber cloud hovers all around you as you approach various shops and your PDA beeps to inform you about a great offer on that watch you wanted, or will alert your bank about a potential overdraft when you enter a diamond shop. Failing to signal when changing lanes now appears on the balance of your next car insurance policy. No, this isn't a movie script, its old news.
Outbound Noise & Inbound Specificity
These zillions of day-to-day, small online interactions add-up, collectively developing your consumption profiles. The system can easily determine when you and how many of your friends are planning a trip to Rio, with what budget, and what airline. This information is a gold-mine to some in the travel business, while the same goes to hundreds of other various sectors. This highly-chicken for mequalified specificity has created a melt-down in the traditional world of advertising, which was historically based on creating wild outbound noise with bottomless budgets. A great thing century ago, but the online era is founded upon the specific pulse of inward consuming traffic.
The total change of old-media-structure is upon us. The last century gave us print society, where the printed word was power, and when only the literate could benefit from information, the ad industry started with a bang. The selling of goods and branding for mass consumerism become the bridge to most of the global economies and the concepts to produce and sell, earn and spend created the modern civilization. The conveyor belts of the process were managed by the ad industry and the herds of consumers were managed by the creative dangling of carrots by ads... Today, and each and every single day, the global ad industry easily spends over a billion dollars creating various types of branding and selling messages.
But now, most current online and cyber advertising techniques are meticulously precise, measurable and predictable. They have trimmed all the non-essential extra creative AD luggage and mega-budgets that allowed for the arrival of the 'MAD Men TV Series' produced
by the same team behind 'The Sopranos', correctly portraying the ad-machine that once created public hysteria and great consumer demands, but now lingers upon extinction like a dinosaur. This global rejection of the traditional ad-game is all over us, affecting newspapers, TV and all other ad-based mediums while a new trace-able, track-able, predictable, ROI model of one-to-one advertising sell-first-bill-later is getting a stronger hold.
The challenges are on two fronts. Firstly, a continuously modified mass scale selling of goods and services using traditional models which have fared well in the past. And Secondly, the urgent need of highly exuberant structures of specialized global service agencies, connecting customers on a one-to-one, per-need basis, using hyper-connected, cyber-marketing-processes. Both fronts are very serious and work towards creating a major shift. Ad shops have always excelled at the creativity component which separated them from the other related service sectors. They are once again required to come up with better ideas and solutions, as on the net, it now takes only seconds to copy, cut and paste the same recycled campaigns and their value being erased at cyber speed. The winners and losers will be determined based on speed to market response.
The 2008 Meltdowns
IBM's current study 'The END of Advertising as we know it' is a forceful document downloadable from their website. It clearly points how the old advertising models, crazy creativity that is now being replaced by highly organized pay-per-click formats, creating direct sales for clients on a sell-first, invoice-later basis. This creates a two-fold meltdown, one in which those agencies which remain still locked down in old models and other is the traditional free media worldwide which so far heavily relied on the Ad revenue.
The 2008 Boom
Clicks and more clicks. Anything that generates a click and results in a cascade of events will boom. There will be special gadgets to special services, from special click-based programs to special offerings. A kind of new click-sound to the click-economy, supporting search engine-based marketing, where the emphasis will be placed on finding a match between customers and immediate consumption issues is where advertising and marketing will park themselves.
The middlemen or the layer of services will offer clear, ROI-based campaigns and will, at times, have a huge surprise windfall for their highly productive campaigns as extra bonuses. Though, at the same time, the big drawback will be privacy, as there will be
extraordinary amounts of information made available to target customers.
The New Trends
A new emergence of a global desire to aim and create a Five Star Standard businesses is almost upon us. Just like a five star hotel, with services, quality and style, this desire to operate a business and offer services just like a five star standard hotel will reflect not only on the corporate brand and the product and services as goodwill ambassadors, but mainly in its hospitable services and 24-hour availability of staff to address those issues. The difference between a luxury home and a five star hotel is the hotel keeps an on-call staff, open switch-board, open kitchen the entire facility and the room service. This is how the corporations of the new era will have to function in order to earn the respect in a click-based round-the-clock society.
Asia is now beginning to offer 24-hour, fully-supported banking, buying and selling of properties, insurance, travel, and all kinds of hundreds of new services. Now, the customer demands and decides whenever, whatever and wherever the need is to be met. Only the players equipped to meet these spontaneous demands will have a chance. The creation of a fully-supported, 24X7 operation that will never close and perform transactions instantly is the new future. You would like to own those special glasses to see that blanket of streaming data hugging you right now... wouldn't you?
MEAN MESSAGES FOR MANAGEMENT!!!
Having chanced to read many an erudite article on " How to Retain Employees", I couldn't resist penning down some of the more common reasons in IT industry, which succeeds in driving out the talented - in droves.
Management not having a learning loop - In Engineering we call it the control loop. It makes sure that the feedback is constantly received, and used to adjust the inputs which reduces discrepancy in the optimal output.( Well, doesn't that sound deep?)
It translates into answering questions from Freshers like these:
Why am I, an IIT topper, put into a project on Mainframes?
Could you tell me some justification for recruiting so many when the transportation is in the primitive stages, still?
Could we not have as a part of the Induction phase, support, wherein the management helps us relocate, considering that we are from different parts of India dumped into this city?
Pray, what is the criterion, in putting us into different streams of technology?
I joined to work in exciting technical fields -but I am on bench. Worse, many are on bench but the management is still on a recruiting spree. Shouldn't I feel insecure?
Any answer is better than no answer at all. (Remember the zero stroke theory vs. Negative stroke theory?) But hardly any one bothers to answer intelligently. And the questions are repeated in every batch!
There starts the disillusionment of the young! Welcome to Corporate Life!
Work Profile Mismatch - Often the Management Graduates face a role mismatch, having been lured by the excellent compensation packages, and not too bothered by the profile. However as the days pass, Maslow starts grinning from the pages of that obscure OB book, and one chaffs at work which one feels can be done by any layman.
Recognition-to the Visible - Can't blame anyone here -that is the politik of company life. But often, in this industry, the best need not be the most vocal, the genius prefers to work away on his computer, the nerd who truly brings business is often a poor presenter.
But Awards go to the vocal, the visible, the loud. So do promotions. How many companies have a dual career track with different competency based assessment done for the twin ladders? So finally, the quiet engineer gets an "Average", on Presentation skills and the loud one an "Excellent". Marks to the loud one-isn't communication skills the crux of them all?
And since all the animals have to do all the things the eel who can do a little bit of everything wins in the end*.
Work-Life Circus - It is not a mere circus anymore. More and more couples feel the strain of life in IT, with deadlines, pressures and travel taking its toll on home and balance. And if you have a young child, God save you!
When the Factories Act, 1948 was envisaged and amended, they never visualized an industry like IT. No one had dared (Correct me if I am wrong) to challenge many a practice of IT companies under the Factories Act. For it says for every 30 women working in a industry, there has to be a crèche. We have gyms, tennis courts, bars and coffee shops, golf clubs, but crèches? After all young women will forever remain young and childless in IT companies. Aren't they liberated? Out goes the young mother. (Who aced her B.E/MBA?)
Lost Identity - Maslow grinning again. While all of us cannot be Gurcharan Das, who could pen masterpieces along with managing an MNC, one still aspires for self-actualization.
True, many IT companies help in getting that dusty guitar out and shake a leg, and kill a fellow debater, but how many help channelise all that youthful pizzazz into something more meaningful to the individual?
It is more than " Small-Is-Wonderful", which drives the guy out to a dotcom or startup. It is the need to be recognized as himself/herself and not just as another face in the mess queue. Solutions, anyone?
Hierarchy and Bureaucracy - As an organization gets bigger, it loses all the advantages of being lithe, young, and agile. It is the Crisis of Bureaucracy, which will step in to control huge amounts of data and personnel. However, even after having achieved SEI-CMM Level 5 as a company, when service departments like maintenance or personnel, fails to respond to an immediate query, one feels like stranded in the sands of Indian civil service. How soon to that standard?
Chronic haters of hierarchy (There are software companies which insist on calling your superior Sir and fine you for talking your mother tongue though you are forty years old) make a beeline for exit when they face these twin monsters.
It is time that we address many issues like these, with sensitivity and intelligence. For more often than not, it is neither the hot pay packet nor the foreign trip that attracts the brilliant techie/MBA out of the company. It just could be something related to dear old Maslow.
Management not having a learning loop - In Engineering we call it the control loop. It makes sure that the feedback is constantly received, and used to adjust the inputs which reduces discrepancy in the optimal output.( Well, doesn't that sound deep?)
It translates into answering questions from Freshers like these:
Why am I, an IIT topper, put into a project on Mainframes?
Could you tell me some justification for recruiting so many when the transportation is in the primitive stages, still?
Could we not have as a part of the Induction phase, support, wherein the management helps us relocate, considering that we are from different parts of India dumped into this city?
Pray, what is the criterion, in putting us into different streams of technology?
I joined to work in exciting technical fields -but I am on bench. Worse, many are on bench but the management is still on a recruiting spree. Shouldn't I feel insecure?
Any answer is better than no answer at all. (Remember the zero stroke theory vs. Negative stroke theory?) But hardly any one bothers to answer intelligently. And the questions are repeated in every batch!
There starts the disillusionment of the young! Welcome to Corporate Life!
Work Profile Mismatch - Often the Management Graduates face a role mismatch, having been lured by the excellent compensation packages, and not too bothered by the profile. However as the days pass, Maslow starts grinning from the pages of that obscure OB book, and one chaffs at work which one feels can be done by any layman.
Recognition-to the Visible - Can't blame anyone here -that is the politik of company life. But often, in this industry, the best need not be the most vocal, the genius prefers to work away on his computer, the nerd who truly brings business is often a poor presenter.
But Awards go to the vocal, the visible, the loud. So do promotions. How many companies have a dual career track with different competency based assessment done for the twin ladders? So finally, the quiet engineer gets an "Average", on Presentation skills and the loud one an "Excellent". Marks to the loud one-isn't communication skills the crux of them all?
And since all the animals have to do all the things the eel who can do a little bit of everything wins in the end*.
Work-Life Circus - It is not a mere circus anymore. More and more couples feel the strain of life in IT, with deadlines, pressures and travel taking its toll on home and balance. And if you have a young child, God save you!
When the Factories Act, 1948 was envisaged and amended, they never visualized an industry like IT. No one had dared (Correct me if I am wrong) to challenge many a practice of IT companies under the Factories Act. For it says for every 30 women working in a industry, there has to be a crèche. We have gyms, tennis courts, bars and coffee shops, golf clubs, but crèches? After all young women will forever remain young and childless in IT companies. Aren't they liberated? Out goes the young mother. (Who aced her B.E/MBA?)
Lost Identity - Maslow grinning again. While all of us cannot be Gurcharan Das, who could pen masterpieces along with managing an MNC, one still aspires for self-actualization.
True, many IT companies help in getting that dusty guitar out and shake a leg, and kill a fellow debater, but how many help channelise all that youthful pizzazz into something more meaningful to the individual?
It is more than " Small-Is-Wonderful", which drives the guy out to a dotcom or startup. It is the need to be recognized as himself/herself and not just as another face in the mess queue. Solutions, anyone?
Hierarchy and Bureaucracy - As an organization gets bigger, it loses all the advantages of being lithe, young, and agile. It is the Crisis of Bureaucracy, which will step in to control huge amounts of data and personnel. However, even after having achieved SEI-CMM Level 5 as a company, when service departments like maintenance or personnel, fails to respond to an immediate query, one feels like stranded in the sands of Indian civil service. How soon to that standard?
Chronic haters of hierarchy (There are software companies which insist on calling your superior Sir and fine you for talking your mother tongue though you are forty years old) make a beeline for exit when they face these twin monsters.
It is time that we address many issues like these, with sensitivity and intelligence. For more often than not, it is neither the hot pay packet nor the foreign trip that attracts the brilliant techie/MBA out of the company. It just could be something related to dear old Maslow.
CHAT ABBREVIATIONS!!!
AFAIK -- As Far As I Know
AFK -- Away From Keyboard
ASAP -- As Soon As Possible
BAS -- Big A** Smile
BBL -- Be Back Later
BBN -- Bye Bye Now
BBS -- Be Back Soon
BEG -- Big Evil Grin
BF -- Boyfriend
BIBO -- Beer In, Beer Out
BRB -- Be Right Back
BTW -- By The Way
BWL -- Bursting With Laughter
C&G -- Chuckle and Grin
CICO -- Coffee In, Coffee Out
CID -- Crying In Disgrace
CNP -- Continued (in my) Next Post
CP -- Chat Post(a chat message)
CRBT -- Crying Real Big Tears
CSG -- Chuckle Snicker Grin
CYA -- See You (Seeya)
CYAL8R -- See You Later (Seeyalata)
DLTBBB -- Don't Let The Bed Bugs Bite
EG -- Evil Grin
EMSG -- Email Message
FC -- Fingers Crossed
FTBOMH -- From The Bottom Of My Heart
FYI -- For Your Information
FWIW -- For What It's Worth
GAL -- Get A Life
GF -- Girlfriend
GFN -- Gone For Now
GMBA -- Giggling My Butt Off
GMTA -- Great Minds Think Alike
GTSY -- Glad To See You
H&K -- Hug and Kiss
HABU -- Have A Better 'Un
HAGN -- Have A Good Night
HAGU -- Have A Good 'Un
HHIS -- Hanging Head in Shame
HUB -- Head Up Butt
IAE -- In Any Event
IC -- I See
IGP -- I Gotta Pee
IMNSHO -- In My Not So Humble Opinion
IMO -- In My Opinion
IMCO -- In My Considered Opinion
IMHO -- In My Humble Opinion
IOW -- In Other Words
IRL -- In Real Life
IWALU -- I Will Always Love You
JMO -- Just My Opinion
JTLYK -- Just To Let You Know
KIT -- Keep In Touch
KOC -- Kiss On Cheek
KOL -- Kiss On Lips
L8R -- Later
L8R -- G8R Later 'Gater
LHM -- Lord Help Me
LHO -- Laughing Head Off
LHU -- Lord Help Us
LMAO -- Laughing My A$$ Off
LMSO -- Laughing My Socks Off
LOL -- Laugh Out Loud
LSHMBB -- Laughing So Hard My Belly is Bouncing
LSHMBH -- Laughing So Hard My Belly Hurts
LSHTTARDML -- Laughing So Hard The Tears Are Running Down My Leg
LTNS -- Long Time No See
LTS -- Laughing To Self
LUWAMH -- Love You With All My Heart
LY -- Love Ya
MTF -- More To Follow
NRN -- No Reply Necessary
NADT -- Not A Darn Thing
OIC -- Oh, I See
OL -- Old Lady (significant other)
OM -- Old Man (significant other)
OTOH -- On The Other Hand
OTTOMH -- Off The Top of My Head
PDS -- Please Don't Shoot
PITA -- Pain In The A**
PM -- Private Message
PMFJI -- Pardon Me For Jumping In
PMP -- Peed My Pants
POAHF -- Put On A Happy Face
QSL -- Reply
QSO -- Conversation
QT -- Cutie
ROFL -- Rolling On Floor Laughing
ROFLAPMP -- ROFL And Peeing My Pants
ROFLMAO -- ROFL My A** Off
ROFLMAOAY -- ROFLMAO At You
ROFLMAOWTIME -- ROFLMAO With Tears In My Eyes
ROFLUTS ROFL -- Unable to Speak
RTFM -- Read The F****** Manual!
SETE -- Smiling Ear To Ear
SHID -- Slaps Head In Disgust
SNERT -- Snot-Nosed Egotistical Rude Teenager
SO -- Significant Other
SOT -- Short Of Time
SOTMG -- Short Of Time Must Go
SWAK -- Sealed With A Kiss
SWAS -- Scientific Wild A** Guess
SWL -- Screaming with Laughter
SYS -- See You Soon
TA -- Thanks Again
TGIF -- Thank God It's Friday
TCOY -- Take Care Of Yourself
TILII -- Tell It Like It Is
TNT -- Till Next Time
TOY -- Thinking Of You
TTFN -- Ta Ta For Now
TTYL -- Talk To You Later
WAS -- Wild A** Guess
WB -- Welcome Back
WTH -- What/Who The Heck (or sub an 'F' for the 'H')
YBS -- You'll Be Sorry
YG -- Young Gentleman
YL -- Young Lady
YM -- Young Man
:-| -- Ambivalent
o:-) -- Angelic
>:-( -- Angry
|-I -- Asleep
(::()::) -- Bandaid
:-{} -- Blowing a Kiss
\-o -- Bored
:-c -- Bummed Out
|C| -- Can of Coke
|P| -- Can of Pepsi
:( ) -- Can't Stop Talking
:*) -- Clowning
:' -- Crying
:'-) -- Crying with Joy
:'-( -- Crying Sadly
:-9 -- Delicious, Yummy
:-> -- Devilish
;-> -- Devilish Wink
:P -- Disgusted (sticking out tongue)
:*) -- Drunk
:-6 -- Exhausted, Wiped Out
:( -- Frown
\~/ -- Full Glass
\_/ -- Glass (drink)
^5 -- High Five
(((((name)))) -- Hug (cyber hug)
(( )):** -- Hugs and Kisses
:-I -- Indifferent
:-# -- Lips are Sealed
:~/ -- Mixed Up
:-O -- Mouth Open (Surprised)
(_) -- Mug (coffee, beer)
@[_]~~ -- Mug of HOT Coffee or Tea
**** -- Popcorn
&&&& -- Pretzels
@}--{--{-- -- Rose
:-@ -- Screaming
:-O -- Shocked
:-) -- Smile
^ -- Thumbs Up
:-& -- Tongue Tied
:-\ -- Undecided
;-) -- Wink
|-O -- Yawning
c[T] -- cup of tea
c[C] -- cup of coffee
(%> -- pizza
,,l, -- the finger
>^-^< -- cats
(_\_)(_|_)(_/_) -- dancing ass off
:-Þ~ -- drooling
?€?€ -- hiding, staring in the dark.
{\o/} -- angel
:-------) -- Viagra smile
AFK -- Away From Keyboard
ASAP -- As Soon As Possible
BAS -- Big A** Smile
BBL -- Be Back Later
BBN -- Bye Bye Now
BBS -- Be Back Soon
BEG -- Big Evil Grin
BF -- Boyfriend
BIBO -- Beer In, Beer Out
BRB -- Be Right Back
BTW -- By The Way
BWL -- Bursting With Laughter
C&G -- Chuckle and Grin
CICO -- Coffee In, Coffee Out
CID -- Crying In Disgrace
CNP -- Continued (in my) Next Post
CP -- Chat Post(a chat message)
CRBT -- Crying Real Big Tears
CSG -- Chuckle Snicker Grin
CYA -- See You (Seeya)
CYAL8R -- See You Later (Seeyalata)
DLTBBB -- Don't Let The Bed Bugs Bite
EG -- Evil Grin
EMSG -- Email Message
FC -- Fingers Crossed
FTBOMH -- From The Bottom Of My Heart
FYI -- For Your Information
FWIW -- For What It's Worth
GAL -- Get A Life
GF -- Girlfriend
GFN -- Gone For Now
GMBA -- Giggling My Butt Off
GMTA -- Great Minds Think Alike
GTSY -- Glad To See You
H&K -- Hug and Kiss
HABU -- Have A Better 'Un
HAGN -- Have A Good Night
HAGU -- Have A Good 'Un
HHIS -- Hanging Head in Shame
HUB -- Head Up Butt
IAE -- In Any Event
IC -- I See
IGP -- I Gotta Pee
IMNSHO -- In My Not So Humble Opinion
IMO -- In My Opinion
IMCO -- In My Considered Opinion
IMHO -- In My Humble Opinion
IOW -- In Other Words
IRL -- In Real Life
IWALU -- I Will Always Love You
JMO -- Just My Opinion
JTLYK -- Just To Let You Know
KIT -- Keep In Touch
KOC -- Kiss On Cheek
KOL -- Kiss On Lips
L8R -- Later
L8R -- G8R Later 'Gater
LHM -- Lord Help Me
LHO -- Laughing Head Off
LHU -- Lord Help Us
LMAO -- Laughing My A$$ Off
LMSO -- Laughing My Socks Off
LOL -- Laugh Out Loud
LSHMBB -- Laughing So Hard My Belly is Bouncing
LSHMBH -- Laughing So Hard My Belly Hurts
LSHTTARDML -- Laughing So Hard The Tears Are Running Down My Leg
LTNS -- Long Time No See
LTS -- Laughing To Self
LUWAMH -- Love You With All My Heart
LY -- Love Ya
MTF -- More To Follow
NRN -- No Reply Necessary
NADT -- Not A Darn Thing
OIC -- Oh, I See
OL -- Old Lady (significant other)
OM -- Old Man (significant other)
OTOH -- On The Other Hand
OTTOMH -- Off The Top of My Head
PDS -- Please Don't Shoot
PITA -- Pain In The A**
PM -- Private Message
PMFJI -- Pardon Me For Jumping In
PMP -- Peed My Pants
POAHF -- Put On A Happy Face
QSL -- Reply
QSO -- Conversation
QT -- Cutie
ROFL -- Rolling On Floor Laughing
ROFLAPMP -- ROFL And Peeing My Pants
ROFLMAO -- ROFL My A** Off
ROFLMAOAY -- ROFLMAO At You
ROFLMAOWTIME -- ROFLMAO With Tears In My Eyes
ROFLUTS ROFL -- Unable to Speak
RTFM -- Read The F****** Manual!
SETE -- Smiling Ear To Ear
SHID -- Slaps Head In Disgust
SNERT -- Snot-Nosed Egotistical Rude Teenager
SO -- Significant Other
SOT -- Short Of Time
SOTMG -- Short Of Time Must Go
SWAK -- Sealed With A Kiss
SWAS -- Scientific Wild A** Guess
SWL -- Screaming with Laughter
SYS -- See You Soon
TA -- Thanks Again
TGIF -- Thank God It's Friday
TCOY -- Take Care Of Yourself
TILII -- Tell It Like It Is
TNT -- Till Next Time
TOY -- Thinking Of You
TTFN -- Ta Ta For Now
TTYL -- Talk To You Later
WAS -- Wild A** Guess
WB -- Welcome Back
WTH -- What/Who The Heck (or sub an 'F' for the 'H')
YBS -- You'll Be Sorry
YG -- Young Gentleman
YL -- Young Lady
YM -- Young Man
:-| -- Ambivalent
o:-) -- Angelic
>:-( -- Angry
|-I -- Asleep
(::()::) -- Bandaid
:-{} -- Blowing a Kiss
\-o -- Bored
:-c -- Bummed Out
|C| -- Can of Coke
|P| -- Can of Pepsi
:( ) -- Can't Stop Talking
:*) -- Clowning
:' -- Crying
:'-) -- Crying with Joy
:'-( -- Crying Sadly
:-9 -- Delicious, Yummy
:-> -- Devilish
;-> -- Devilish Wink
:P -- Disgusted (sticking out tongue)
:*) -- Drunk
:-6 -- Exhausted, Wiped Out
:( -- Frown
\~/ -- Full Glass
\_/ -- Glass (drink)
^5 -- High Five
(((((name)))) -- Hug (cyber hug)
(( )):** -- Hugs and Kisses
:-I -- Indifferent
:-# -- Lips are Sealed
:~/ -- Mixed Up
:-O -- Mouth Open (Surprised)
(_) -- Mug (coffee, beer)
@[_]~~ -- Mug of HOT Coffee or Tea
**** -- Popcorn
&&&& -- Pretzels
@}--{--{-- -- Rose
:-@ -- Screaming
:-O -- Shocked
:-) -- Smile
^ -- Thumbs Up
:-& -- Tongue Tied
:-\ -- Undecided
;-) -- Wink
|-O -- Yawning
c[T] -- cup of tea
c[C] -- cup of coffee
(%> -- pizza
,,l, -- the finger
>^-^< -- cats
(_\_)(_|_)(_/_) -- dancing ass off
:-Þ~ -- drooling
?€?€ -- hiding, staring in the dark.
{\o/} -- angel
:-------) -- Viagra smile
ENGLISH--SENSIBLY INSENSIBLE!!!
"So English Makes Sense?"
We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always men,
why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,
and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those,
yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
but though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
but imagine the feminine she, shis and shim.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England.
Quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing?
Grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
A house can burn up as it burns down?
You fill in a form by filling it out?
An alarm goes off by going on?
Did you know that 'verb' is a noun?
How can you look up words in a dictionary if you can't spell them?
If a word is misspelled in a dictionary, how would we ever know?
If two mouses are mice and two louses are lice, why aren't two houses hice?
If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
If you've read a book, you can reread it. But wouldn't this also mean that you would have to 'member' somebody in order to remember them?
Is it a coincidence that the only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable?
Is there another word for a synonym?
Shouldn't there be a shorter word for 'monosyllabic'?
Why can't you make another word using all the letters in 'anagram'?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
Why do some people type 'cool' as 'kewl?'
Why does 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing?
Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
Why does X stand for a kiss and O stand for a hug?
Why is 'crazy man' an insult, while to insert a comma and say 'Crazy, man!' is a compliment?
Why are a wise man and wise guy opposites?
Why is it that we recite at a play and play at a recital?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Why isn't 'palindrome' spelled the same way backwards?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
English is indeed very strange.
We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always men,
why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,
and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those,
yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
but though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
but imagine the feminine she, shis and shim.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England.
Quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing?
Grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
A house can burn up as it burns down?
You fill in a form by filling it out?
An alarm goes off by going on?
Did you know that 'verb' is a noun?
How can you look up words in a dictionary if you can't spell them?
If a word is misspelled in a dictionary, how would we ever know?
If two mouses are mice and two louses are lice, why aren't two houses hice?
If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
If you've read a book, you can reread it. But wouldn't this also mean that you would have to 'member' somebody in order to remember them?
Is it a coincidence that the only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable?
Is there another word for a synonym?
Shouldn't there be a shorter word for 'monosyllabic'?
Why can't you make another word using all the letters in 'anagram'?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
Why do some people type 'cool' as 'kewl?'
Why does 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing?
Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
Why does X stand for a kiss and O stand for a hug?
Why is 'crazy man' an insult, while to insert a comma and say 'Crazy, man!' is a compliment?
Why are a wise man and wise guy opposites?
Why is it that we recite at a play and play at a recital?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Why isn't 'palindrome' spelled the same way backwards?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
English is indeed very strange.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT!!
Foods that Feed your Brain
During exams, many parents give various medicines to their kids that claim to increase their learning power. Let's look at some of the natural brain and mood enhancers.
It's a known fact that the most important meal of the day is your breakfast. Breakfast eaters are likely to achieve higher grades, pay closer attention, participate more in class discussions, and solve more complex academic problems than breakfast skippers.
1. Consume more complex carbohydrates. Carbohydrates provide energy and as the brain uses around a fifth of the body's energy requirements, they are very essential for proper mental functioning.
Complex carbohydrates take longer to digest, so they release their energy gradually, providing ongoing energy and stamina.
Foods with the best brain carbohydrates include: Fruits, cereals and grains, vegetables and legumes, oatmeal, bran, spaghetti, rice and dairy products.
Minimize the intake of simple carbohydrates. These are digested quickly and cause too much sugar to be released into the bloodstream. This is countered by the release of insulin. The brain is thus alternately flooded and starved of essential glucose, which may lead to dizziness, anxiety, headaches, thirst, mental confusion and sleepiness.
2. Encourage grazing. Children's behavior often deteriorates three to four hours after a meal. To smooth out the blood-sugar mood swings, let your child nibble on nutritious foods throughout the day. Pack these snacks for school and carry with you when you are away from home.
3. Perk up your proteins. Proteins in the diet affect brain performance because they provide the amino acids from which neurotransmitters are made. These are biochemical messengers that carry signals from one brain cell to another.
High protein, low carbohydrate foods that are likely to jumpstart the brain are seafood, soy, meat, eggs, and dairy.
4. Feed your brain the right fats. Both growing and aging brains need nutritious fats. The best source for the right kind of fats is fish. Because of the fatty acids they contain, fish is known as the best kind of brain food.
5. Consider vitamin supplements. Here are some of the vitamins which have been shown to affect behaviour and learning:
Vitamin C is required by the brain to make neurotransmitters. In fact, the brain has a special vitamin C "pump" that draws extra vitamin C out of the blood and concentrates it in the brain. Sources of Vitamin C include tomato, orange, sweet lime, amla and sprouted pulses.
Vitamin B12 is vital for maintaining healthy brain tissue.
Vitamin B6 deficiency causes hyper-irritability and fatigue.
Flesh foods (non-veg) are good sources of Vitamin B.
Folic acid deficiency affects neurotransmitter functioning, resulting in symptoms associated with depression.
6. Insure enough iron. The symptoms of iron deficiency include irritability and diminished mental alertness. Iron rich foods include greens, jaggery, dates, egg yolk etc
Let’s Eat Our Way To Alertness
What you eat affects your mood, memory and clarity of thought.
Foods that are slow to digest divert blood from the brain and reduce mental sharpness.
A key nutrient involved in conversion to alertness is a chemical found in fish, meats, egg yolks, soy products, rice and peanuts. Tuna can help to keep mentally alert.
So deciding on what you eat is important before going for exams or other important appointments as you want to be mentally fresh and alert.
SPINACH & BROCCOLI = YOUR VITAMIN POWERHOUSE
It would really pay to include spinach or broccoli in your weekly diet. Here's why. These green vegetables include vitamins A, B, C and K, Folate , and minerals like calcium, potassium, magnesium, iron and zinc. That's a nutritional basket you can't afford to miss. Now you know what Popeye's made from!
Don't Miss your Breakfast!
As we burn fewer calories during sleep, having a breakfast is a good way to kick-start your body into a calorie-burning mode. If you avoid breakfast you will burn a fewer calories and you are more likely to grab the first high fat snack as your hunger peak will reach high. Bonus Tip: Hot foods can increase your post meal metabolic rate significantly. It is advantageous to incorporate fresh green chutney with green chilies, spicy jaljeeras, hot soups etc. in your meal.
During exams, many parents give various medicines to their kids that claim to increase their learning power. Let's look at some of the natural brain and mood enhancers.
It's a known fact that the most important meal of the day is your breakfast. Breakfast eaters are likely to achieve higher grades, pay closer attention, participate more in class discussions, and solve more complex academic problems than breakfast skippers.
1. Consume more complex carbohydrates. Carbohydrates provide energy and as the brain uses around a fifth of the body's energy requirements, they are very essential for proper mental functioning.
Complex carbohydrates take longer to digest, so they release their energy gradually, providing ongoing energy and stamina.
Foods with the best brain carbohydrates include: Fruits, cereals and grains, vegetables and legumes, oatmeal, bran, spaghetti, rice and dairy products.
Minimize the intake of simple carbohydrates. These are digested quickly and cause too much sugar to be released into the bloodstream. This is countered by the release of insulin. The brain is thus alternately flooded and starved of essential glucose, which may lead to dizziness, anxiety, headaches, thirst, mental confusion and sleepiness.
2. Encourage grazing. Children's behavior often deteriorates three to four hours after a meal. To smooth out the blood-sugar mood swings, let your child nibble on nutritious foods throughout the day. Pack these snacks for school and carry with you when you are away from home.
3. Perk up your proteins. Proteins in the diet affect brain performance because they provide the amino acids from which neurotransmitters are made. These are biochemical messengers that carry signals from one brain cell to another.
High protein, low carbohydrate foods that are likely to jumpstart the brain are seafood, soy, meat, eggs, and dairy.
4. Feed your brain the right fats. Both growing and aging brains need nutritious fats. The best source for the right kind of fats is fish. Because of the fatty acids they contain, fish is known as the best kind of brain food.
5. Consider vitamin supplements. Here are some of the vitamins which have been shown to affect behaviour and learning:
Vitamin C is required by the brain to make neurotransmitters. In fact, the brain has a special vitamin C "pump" that draws extra vitamin C out of the blood and concentrates it in the brain. Sources of Vitamin C include tomato, orange, sweet lime, amla and sprouted pulses.
Vitamin B12 is vital for maintaining healthy brain tissue.
Vitamin B6 deficiency causes hyper-irritability and fatigue.
Flesh foods (non-veg) are good sources of Vitamin B.
Folic acid deficiency affects neurotransmitter functioning, resulting in symptoms associated with depression.
6. Insure enough iron. The symptoms of iron deficiency include irritability and diminished mental alertness. Iron rich foods include greens, jaggery, dates, egg yolk etc
Let’s Eat Our Way To Alertness
What you eat affects your mood, memory and clarity of thought.
Foods that are slow to digest divert blood from the brain and reduce mental sharpness.
A key nutrient involved in conversion to alertness is a chemical found in fish, meats, egg yolks, soy products, rice and peanuts. Tuna can help to keep mentally alert.
So deciding on what you eat is important before going for exams or other important appointments as you want to be mentally fresh and alert.
SPINACH & BROCCOLI = YOUR VITAMIN POWERHOUSE
It would really pay to include spinach or broccoli in your weekly diet. Here's why. These green vegetables include vitamins A, B, C and K, Folate , and minerals like calcium, potassium, magnesium, iron and zinc. That's a nutritional basket you can't afford to miss. Now you know what Popeye's made from!
Don't Miss your Breakfast!
As we burn fewer calories during sleep, having a breakfast is a good way to kick-start your body into a calorie-burning mode. If you avoid breakfast you will burn a fewer calories and you are more likely to grab the first high fat snack as your hunger peak will reach high. Bonus Tip: Hot foods can increase your post meal metabolic rate significantly. It is advantageous to incorporate fresh green chutney with green chilies, spicy jaljeeras, hot soups etc. in your meal.
MANAGING SUBORDINATES EFFECTIVELY !!!!
So you’ve just received a promotion and are in charge of your very own team. What does it take to be a good leader you wonder? Effective leadership comes from the understanding that a lot of your success as a leader depends on the productivity of your team. The manner in which you deal with your subordinates is critical to their progress and ultimately your own.
Here are 5 important tips that’ll help you manage your subordinates effectively.
1. Public praise and private criticism
Everybody loves the occasional pat on the back and when you openly praise your subordinates it goes a long way in building their confidence. Similarly presenting your critique of their work in a public forum might humiliate them and shatter their self-esteem. A one-on-one coaching session behind closed doors displays respect and will help you gain the trust of your subordinates.
2. Do you really know it all?
Many leaders inherently believe that they know more than their subordinates. While this might hold true for several instances it would be unwise of you to assume that it’s true across the board. Everybody no matter what his/her position in the organisation has something of value to offer and you will win more people over by encouraging their contributions than you will by making all decisions on your own.
3. Be empathetic
You have a junior team member whose performance of late has been below par. Your first instinct would be to hold a private ‘coaching session’. But it would help to take a step back and put yourself in his/her shoes. It’s best to give them the benefit of the doubt and have a heartfelt talk to find out what’s really going on. The empathy will be greatly appreciated and will only strengthen your relationship with your subordinates.
4. Be fair and objective
A leader that noticeably has favourites and doles out preferential treatment is greatly resented. Your job as a leader is to remain objective throughout and treat everyone with equality. Of course, you’re going to like some people more than others but don’t ever let that sway your assessment of their work performance.
5. Pushovers are liked not respected
While it is important for you to be liked by your subordinates it is more important for them to acknowledge your leadership. You needn’t adopt an autocratic approach to ascertain your position; remember to be firm but fair. When you have to take decisions that your subordinates might not agree with explain your position and get them to see your point of view.
FORGING FRIENDSHIPS AT THE WORKPLACE
Everyone agrees that embarking upon an office romance is ill advised, but what about forging friendships. Many of us are aware that work is an excellent environment for meeting new people and making new friends. It helps make, work more fun, and most days go by faster as a result.
For many the office is their home away from home and perhaps the only social environment they look forward to all week. At work you really get to see all sides of individuals, you get to know them and end up bonding with them due to the long hours you spend together. Having someone to confide in, share lunch with, give us encouragement and confidence and who may even help us perform our job and duties better are all among the many positives of forming friendships at work or working with a close friend.
On the other hand, just like any relationship, there are certain rules and a protocol you must adhere to and office politics that you will inevitably have to deal with. You wouldn’t want your friendship to interfere negatively with your progress and performance or spark professional jealousy, which can make put stress on both your personal and professional relationship.
The key to any successful office relationship is to keep it separate from your personal relationship and as much out of the office as possible. You must proceed with extreme caution when forging friendships and how far you allow them to go, especially within a short span of time. And remember to recognize the different levels of friendship and to never disclose grievances with other colleagues, supervisors and bosses to anyone (not even to a fairly trusted friend).
As far as possible do not make the office your only social scene and never place all your emotional energy in your job and in making friends at work. And, with regards to the friends you do make, try testing the relationship and going out after hours, taking note on what you have in common other than work, and if you are successful at bonding on other levels besides talking about work and the latest office gossip. If you do however find that you genuinely get along, you may consider reaching an agreement, that once work is over, you can talk about anything but work.
GET COOPERATION, SAY GOODBYE TO NAGGING
You can do away with the hint dropping techniques. If you want your colleague to do some work be direct and ask him/her to do so.
Don’t fall into the whirlpool of blaming one another for an unfinished job or an error. This only widens the chasm of resentment between employees and colleagues and prevents them from looking at other ways to solve the problem. If you happen to be on the receiving end of the blame let it slide. You need not accept the blame if you are not the person responsible for the goof up instead you could say “It would be better if we looked at the facts.”
Another way of getting the work done is to stay focused avoid being overly critical.
Don’t demand, instead negotiate. Suggest ways to help.
Say less. People resent following orders, so be subtle. Post an itemized checklist and deadlines for goals to be met. Recognize the time and effort colleagues put into the process.
HANDLING FINICKY COLLEAGUES
It’s tough dealing with fanatic, moody and unfriendly colleagues. But when you gotta do it, you gotta do it.
Try following these guidelines to make your interactions with colleagues smoother:
• Try to stay in control. You needn’t be rude but you can be firm. In other words speak your mind.
• Ignore immature, self-centered behaviour to the point where it does not affect you and your work. Stay focused on getting the work done rather than indulging in a power play.
• Try to stress on how behavior can affect productivity. Communicate with your colleague about their place in the scheme of things.
• As a last resort if problems are heightened, your work is suffering etc. speak to your boss. Inform him/her of the problem, but remember not to get emotional about the problem. State your case by outlining the facts with clarity and how and see that the necessary action is taken.
TURN AROUND WORK SITUATIONS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE!
When it comes to dealing with tricky situations in the workplace, be it handling difficult colleagues, bossy seniors and extreme work pressure, there are many incidents that leave us agitated or dissatisfied. When the circumstances of these incidences are beyond your control, it’s a good idea to be clear about what you want. Keep these pointers in mind.
• When faced with a dilemma involving other people, always try to assess what they want from the situation, so that you can come to a mutual agreement.
• When you anticipate a difficult situation, prepare yourself to face the task as well as condition your mind to expect the unexpected. State your case with conviction and have confidence in your abilities. This will make the difference.
• Always remember that it pays to respect another person’s goals as you approach your own goal. This way you can understand another’s perspectives and work as a team.
• You need to feel positive and keep in mind that the work you’re putting in will help you in the long run.
• Take some time out to develop a sincere rapport with your team members. Find some common ground to bond with them even if you do not naturally relate to them. You never know who will bail you out of a tricky situation.
Here are 5 important tips that’ll help you manage your subordinates effectively.
1. Public praise and private criticism
Everybody loves the occasional pat on the back and when you openly praise your subordinates it goes a long way in building their confidence. Similarly presenting your critique of their work in a public forum might humiliate them and shatter their self-esteem. A one-on-one coaching session behind closed doors displays respect and will help you gain the trust of your subordinates.
2. Do you really know it all?
Many leaders inherently believe that they know more than their subordinates. While this might hold true for several instances it would be unwise of you to assume that it’s true across the board. Everybody no matter what his/her position in the organisation has something of value to offer and you will win more people over by encouraging their contributions than you will by making all decisions on your own.
3. Be empathetic
You have a junior team member whose performance of late has been below par. Your first instinct would be to hold a private ‘coaching session’. But it would help to take a step back and put yourself in his/her shoes. It’s best to give them the benefit of the doubt and have a heartfelt talk to find out what’s really going on. The empathy will be greatly appreciated and will only strengthen your relationship with your subordinates.
4. Be fair and objective
A leader that noticeably has favourites and doles out preferential treatment is greatly resented. Your job as a leader is to remain objective throughout and treat everyone with equality. Of course, you’re going to like some people more than others but don’t ever let that sway your assessment of their work performance.
5. Pushovers are liked not respected
While it is important for you to be liked by your subordinates it is more important for them to acknowledge your leadership. You needn’t adopt an autocratic approach to ascertain your position; remember to be firm but fair. When you have to take decisions that your subordinates might not agree with explain your position and get them to see your point of view.
FORGING FRIENDSHIPS AT THE WORKPLACE
Everyone agrees that embarking upon an office romance is ill advised, but what about forging friendships. Many of us are aware that work is an excellent environment for meeting new people and making new friends. It helps make, work more fun, and most days go by faster as a result.
For many the office is their home away from home and perhaps the only social environment they look forward to all week. At work you really get to see all sides of individuals, you get to know them and end up bonding with them due to the long hours you spend together. Having someone to confide in, share lunch with, give us encouragement and confidence and who may even help us perform our job and duties better are all among the many positives of forming friendships at work or working with a close friend.
On the other hand, just like any relationship, there are certain rules and a protocol you must adhere to and office politics that you will inevitably have to deal with. You wouldn’t want your friendship to interfere negatively with your progress and performance or spark professional jealousy, which can make put stress on both your personal and professional relationship.
The key to any successful office relationship is to keep it separate from your personal relationship and as much out of the office as possible. You must proceed with extreme caution when forging friendships and how far you allow them to go, especially within a short span of time. And remember to recognize the different levels of friendship and to never disclose grievances with other colleagues, supervisors and bosses to anyone (not even to a fairly trusted friend).
As far as possible do not make the office your only social scene and never place all your emotional energy in your job and in making friends at work. And, with regards to the friends you do make, try testing the relationship and going out after hours, taking note on what you have in common other than work, and if you are successful at bonding on other levels besides talking about work and the latest office gossip. If you do however find that you genuinely get along, you may consider reaching an agreement, that once work is over, you can talk about anything but work.
GET COOPERATION, SAY GOODBYE TO NAGGING
You can do away with the hint dropping techniques. If you want your colleague to do some work be direct and ask him/her to do so.
Don’t fall into the whirlpool of blaming one another for an unfinished job or an error. This only widens the chasm of resentment between employees and colleagues and prevents them from looking at other ways to solve the problem. If you happen to be on the receiving end of the blame let it slide. You need not accept the blame if you are not the person responsible for the goof up instead you could say “It would be better if we looked at the facts.”
Another way of getting the work done is to stay focused avoid being overly critical.
Don’t demand, instead negotiate. Suggest ways to help.
Say less. People resent following orders, so be subtle. Post an itemized checklist and deadlines for goals to be met. Recognize the time and effort colleagues put into the process.
HANDLING FINICKY COLLEAGUES
It’s tough dealing with fanatic, moody and unfriendly colleagues. But when you gotta do it, you gotta do it.
Try following these guidelines to make your interactions with colleagues smoother:
• Try to stay in control. You needn’t be rude but you can be firm. In other words speak your mind.
• Ignore immature, self-centered behaviour to the point where it does not affect you and your work. Stay focused on getting the work done rather than indulging in a power play.
• Try to stress on how behavior can affect productivity. Communicate with your colleague about their place in the scheme of things.
• As a last resort if problems are heightened, your work is suffering etc. speak to your boss. Inform him/her of the problem, but remember not to get emotional about the problem. State your case by outlining the facts with clarity and how and see that the necessary action is taken.
TURN AROUND WORK SITUATIONS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE!
When it comes to dealing with tricky situations in the workplace, be it handling difficult colleagues, bossy seniors and extreme work pressure, there are many incidents that leave us agitated or dissatisfied. When the circumstances of these incidences are beyond your control, it’s a good idea to be clear about what you want. Keep these pointers in mind.
• When faced with a dilemma involving other people, always try to assess what they want from the situation, so that you can come to a mutual agreement.
• When you anticipate a difficult situation, prepare yourself to face the task as well as condition your mind to expect the unexpected. State your case with conviction and have confidence in your abilities. This will make the difference.
• Always remember that it pays to respect another person’s goals as you approach your own goal. This way you can understand another’s perspectives and work as a team.
• You need to feel positive and keep in mind that the work you’re putting in will help you in the long run.
• Take some time out to develop a sincere rapport with your team members. Find some common ground to bond with them even if you do not naturally relate to them. You never know who will bail you out of a tricky situation.
Letting Go of Guilt
Exhausted by work and kids, I was desperate for sleep — but every time I closed my eyes, I saw Elisa's face. I'd e-mailed a group of friends about getting together, and she responded that she would love to see me when she "got back from surgery." What surgery? Oh, just the hysterectomy I'd never heard about because I'd been so bad at keeping in touch. Now I felt guilty. Of course, that's not unusual — I often stay up late fretting about something I've done wrong. My offense doesn't have to be huge (no, I haven't murdered anyone lately); I'm bothered by small things, like wriggling out of a baby shower, leaving wet laundry in the machine overnight, and being less of a friend than I'd like to be. If you're nodding your head, you know exactly what I mean.
Here's the upside of feeling the way we do: Guilt acts as our inner watchdog, says Margaret Clark, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Yale University who studies guilt and close relationships. We have responsibilities to other people, and if we fail to perform as we should, we feel crummy. "In a healthy situation, guilt prompts us to correct our actions or express our regrets," says Clark.
But it's possible to be too hard on yourself — and yes, the female sex is especially adept at this kind of self-sabotage. "Women are more focused on other people than men are," says Vicki Helgeson, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Carnegie-Mellon University who studies gender. "We feel guilty if we do something that affects someone else, while men are more concerned with the impact others have on them."
Want to stop playing the self-blame game? Here's how to handle those squirm-inducing situations in all the major aspects of your life.
FRIEND GUILT
Does this sound familiar?
• Your husband dozed off at someone's wedding.
• You're invited to two events on Saturday night — and there's no way you can do both.
• You've missed five turns at carpooling.
• You ducked an acquaintance at the supermarket.
• You made a stupid joke that offended someone.
One woman's experience:
"I wrote — but never mailed — a thank-you note for the most beautiful baby present I've ever received," says Jennifer, 38, a homemaker in Falls Church, Virginia. "It was a hand-knit sweater. The friend who made it lives overseas, so I didn't know the correct postage, and with a newborn, I never had time to find out. The note is still stuck in the pages of my address book — and the 'baby' is now four."
Advice: Apologize
When you've simply missed the boat, there's just one thing to do: Say you're sorry. "Jennifer should mail the thank-you note now," says Clark. "She's saying, 'I had too much responsibility and couldn't do this.' That's fine — but in recent years, it's embarrassment that has stopped her from acting on the problem." Popping the original thank-you into an envelope along with another note admitting that she's been feeling bad about this for ages will not just alleviate Jennifer's guilt — it'll make the knitter understand what happened and feel appreciated at last.
KID GUILT
Does this sound familiar?
• The other moms made their kids' Halloween costumes — but yours are from the drugstore.
• You plopped your youngest in front of a video so you could answer some e-mail.
• You talked your daughter into a short haircut, and now she's getting teased for looking like a boy.
• Your family is moving, so your teenager has to leave his old friends.
• You made PB&J for lunch — again.
One woman's experience:
Roz, 45, a freelance writer in Lake Oswego, Oregon, thinks they implant a guilt chip in every woman when she gives birth: "Today, I told my kids I will have to miss their sports-awards ceremony because of work. Their dad will go, but they're still upset I won't be there. I'm sorry, too, but if I don't finish my work, I can't buy them the fancy sneakers they like — and that would make me feel guilty too!"
Advice: Prioritize
Face it: The perfect, June Cleaveresque mother who can fulfill her children's every need does not exist. So when you're feeling like the worst parent in the world, sit down and think about what's most important for you and your family. If Roz's priority is to make money to help pay the bills, that needs to take precedence over attending every single event. Once you've made your choices, stand by them, even when it's difficult. "You know you're doing the right thing in the long run," says Clark. "If you still feel bad, let your child see how much you wish it could be different. That will signal how much you care."
FAMILY GUILT
Does this sound familiar?
• A new job means moving your kids away from their grandparents.
• You get only four tickets for your son's confirmation — and everyone wants in.
• You snapped at your husband when he was only trying to help.
• You have to ask for a loan, and it's not like your parents are millionaires.
• You secretly think your little niece is a total brat.
One woman's experience:
"My mom and my mother-in-law have me in a guilt trap," says Hettie, 35, of Chicago. "My dad died a year ago, so we visit my mother often. Meantime, my mother-in-law is jealous that she's not getting as much attention. And my husband travels so much for work that I hate asking him to take more trips on weekends. I try to do right by everyone, but it's hard!"
Advice: Compromise
"You can let everyone have turns — his family gets one visit, your family gets the next — but that leaves out your own needs," says Clark. "What if you just want to stay home?" So try for a compromise. "Think about other ways to keep in touch: cards, e-mails, phone calls, Internet video," says June Tangney, Ph.D., a psychologist and researcher at George Mason University who studies guilt, shame, and empathy. "And you know all that artwork the kids bring home from school? Send some of that along — then you'll also feel less guilty about not being able to keep every bit of it."
EVERYTHING GUILT
Does this sound familiar?
• Instead of finishing the report at work, you sat there surfing the Web.
• You hardly ever take time to dress up for your husband.
• You ate a box of cookies before bed.
• You'd rather read a romance novel than the newspaper.
• Your dog is fat because you don't walk him — you just let him out in the yard.
One woman's experience:
"I just never seem to live up to my own expectations," says Celeste, 30, of Los Angeles. "My husband and I recently moved to a new city, and I feel guilty that I haven't made more friends. My income would be bigger if I didn't work from home. I'm pregnant, but I'd rather eat falafel than whole grains. And with all the landfills bursting with plastic, why can't I ever remember to bring canvas bags to the grocery store?"
Advice: Be specific
"Hoo boy, she sounds overwhelmed," says Tangney, whose first recommendation in this kind of situation is to set goals that are specific and concrete. "Don't say 'I have to find loads of new friends so my husband isn't lonely' — just say 'I'll try to make plans twice a month.'"
Another good goal: limiting negative self-talk, which can really undermine your ability to act effectively. "A little cognitive restructuring — changing the messages in your head — can allow you to be your own cheerleader," says Dale Atkins, Ph.D., a psychologist in New York City. By changing "I did three things wrong today" to "I did three other things right today," you'll build up your emotional shoreline against the erosion caused by guilt. And you'll finally get the good night's sleep you so deserve.
Here's the upside of feeling the way we do: Guilt acts as our inner watchdog, says Margaret Clark, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Yale University who studies guilt and close relationships. We have responsibilities to other people, and if we fail to perform as we should, we feel crummy. "In a healthy situation, guilt prompts us to correct our actions or express our regrets," says Clark.
But it's possible to be too hard on yourself — and yes, the female sex is especially adept at this kind of self-sabotage. "Women are more focused on other people than men are," says Vicki Helgeson, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Carnegie-Mellon University who studies gender. "We feel guilty if we do something that affects someone else, while men are more concerned with the impact others have on them."
Want to stop playing the self-blame game? Here's how to handle those squirm-inducing situations in all the major aspects of your life.
FRIEND GUILT
Does this sound familiar?
• Your husband dozed off at someone's wedding.
• You're invited to two events on Saturday night — and there's no way you can do both.
• You've missed five turns at carpooling.
• You ducked an acquaintance at the supermarket.
• You made a stupid joke that offended someone.
One woman's experience:
"I wrote — but never mailed — a thank-you note for the most beautiful baby present I've ever received," says Jennifer, 38, a homemaker in Falls Church, Virginia. "It was a hand-knit sweater. The friend who made it lives overseas, so I didn't know the correct postage, and with a newborn, I never had time to find out. The note is still stuck in the pages of my address book — and the 'baby' is now four."
Advice: Apologize
When you've simply missed the boat, there's just one thing to do: Say you're sorry. "Jennifer should mail the thank-you note now," says Clark. "She's saying, 'I had too much responsibility and couldn't do this.' That's fine — but in recent years, it's embarrassment that has stopped her from acting on the problem." Popping the original thank-you into an envelope along with another note admitting that she's been feeling bad about this for ages will not just alleviate Jennifer's guilt — it'll make the knitter understand what happened and feel appreciated at last.
KID GUILT
Does this sound familiar?
• The other moms made their kids' Halloween costumes — but yours are from the drugstore.
• You plopped your youngest in front of a video so you could answer some e-mail.
• You talked your daughter into a short haircut, and now she's getting teased for looking like a boy.
• Your family is moving, so your teenager has to leave his old friends.
• You made PB&J for lunch — again.
One woman's experience:
Roz, 45, a freelance writer in Lake Oswego, Oregon, thinks they implant a guilt chip in every woman when she gives birth: "Today, I told my kids I will have to miss their sports-awards ceremony because of work. Their dad will go, but they're still upset I won't be there. I'm sorry, too, but if I don't finish my work, I can't buy them the fancy sneakers they like — and that would make me feel guilty too!"
Advice: Prioritize
Face it: The perfect, June Cleaveresque mother who can fulfill her children's every need does not exist. So when you're feeling like the worst parent in the world, sit down and think about what's most important for you and your family. If Roz's priority is to make money to help pay the bills, that needs to take precedence over attending every single event. Once you've made your choices, stand by them, even when it's difficult. "You know you're doing the right thing in the long run," says Clark. "If you still feel bad, let your child see how much you wish it could be different. That will signal how much you care."
FAMILY GUILT
Does this sound familiar?
• A new job means moving your kids away from their grandparents.
• You get only four tickets for your son's confirmation — and everyone wants in.
• You snapped at your husband when he was only trying to help.
• You have to ask for a loan, and it's not like your parents are millionaires.
• You secretly think your little niece is a total brat.
One woman's experience:
"My mom and my mother-in-law have me in a guilt trap," says Hettie, 35, of Chicago. "My dad died a year ago, so we visit my mother often. Meantime, my mother-in-law is jealous that she's not getting as much attention. And my husband travels so much for work that I hate asking him to take more trips on weekends. I try to do right by everyone, but it's hard!"
Advice: Compromise
"You can let everyone have turns — his family gets one visit, your family gets the next — but that leaves out your own needs," says Clark. "What if you just want to stay home?" So try for a compromise. "Think about other ways to keep in touch: cards, e-mails, phone calls, Internet video," says June Tangney, Ph.D., a psychologist and researcher at George Mason University who studies guilt, shame, and empathy. "And you know all that artwork the kids bring home from school? Send some of that along — then you'll also feel less guilty about not being able to keep every bit of it."
EVERYTHING GUILT
Does this sound familiar?
• Instead of finishing the report at work, you sat there surfing the Web.
• You hardly ever take time to dress up for your husband.
• You ate a box of cookies before bed.
• You'd rather read a romance novel than the newspaper.
• Your dog is fat because you don't walk him — you just let him out in the yard.
One woman's experience:
"I just never seem to live up to my own expectations," says Celeste, 30, of Los Angeles. "My husband and I recently moved to a new city, and I feel guilty that I haven't made more friends. My income would be bigger if I didn't work from home. I'm pregnant, but I'd rather eat falafel than whole grains. And with all the landfills bursting with plastic, why can't I ever remember to bring canvas bags to the grocery store?"
Advice: Be specific
"Hoo boy, she sounds overwhelmed," says Tangney, whose first recommendation in this kind of situation is to set goals that are specific and concrete. "Don't say 'I have to find loads of new friends so my husband isn't lonely' — just say 'I'll try to make plans twice a month.'"
Another good goal: limiting negative self-talk, which can really undermine your ability to act effectively. "A little cognitive restructuring — changing the messages in your head — can allow you to be your own cheerleader," says Dale Atkins, Ph.D., a psychologist in New York City. By changing "I did three things wrong today" to "I did three other things right today," you'll build up your emotional shoreline against the erosion caused by guilt. And you'll finally get the good night's sleep you so deserve.
"Playing Prince Charming"
Source:A fantabulous article
I seriously have to check with my kid. Did Prince Charming really kill the dragon and save the princess? The Charming One, if I remember right, had this irritating habit of running after women with a single glass slipper - trying to fit that singular framework to every foot in the kingdom... must have studied management for graduation. Anyway, the late Sumantra Ghoshal (along with Heike Bruch) had, in a very interesting article, pointed to the possibilities of slaying the dragon and saving the princess - as fine corporate strategies *.
Before exploring the beautiful analogies coined by the gifted minds, let us ponder on emotions. For it is about emotions - raw, pulsating and pounding - that Ghoshal et al speak about in their article. And the art of tapping and redirecting it to the desired destination, in a corporate setting.
Well, for a sensitivity test, check out this stunner by Seamus Heaney **, and guess the emotion behind it: -
"The bloody light.
To hell with it.
Close eyes and concentrate.
Not crown of thorns, not suptre reed,
Or Herod's court, but ha!
You had it! A, harrowing, yes, in hell:
The hackle spikes
That Plato told of..."
(Confused thoroughly? Don't worry; Heaney has that effect sometimes on unsuspecting minds!)
If you are sensitized to raw emotion now, of the negative variety, it is this that Ghoshal speaks about... an ineffable mix of anger, hatred, shame, fear - all in a heady cocktail... which actually empowered Philips Electronics to make a come back in 1990 when their new CEO took over and subjected the company to a shock therapy by saying, "This is a fight - not a game!" ***. Now, don't sue me - this strategy of shocking a complacent or lethargic company into performance is called, "Slaying the dragon".
Mind you, a lethargic company is very different from a complacent one. Both share low energy levels but there is a subtle difference. The lethargic has negative quality and low intensity of energy level. The complacent one has positive quality and low intensity of energy. And both are equally bad for the tummy.
So what does the doc advise?
A magic potion consisting of enthusiasm, energy and enjoyment in winning the performance goals - like Sony Corp, constantly reinventing itself. This is called - "Winning the Princess" - by making the vision everyone's dream! Herein, both the quality and intensity of energy levels in the organization are very positive and high.
Or, surprise, surprise... try anger and competition with that fierce passion bordering on the negative... that is what Oracle follows - "Slaying the dragon" - with high levels of negative energy getting unleashed.
There is no judgment herein. The druid knows that what is good for Asterix need not be good for Obelix. After all didn't someone fall in a certain something even before he could walk? So, go ahead, say the Gurus. Move from Resignation Zone to Passion Zone. And kick off those wreath of past laurels while you are huffing into the Aggression Zone from your erstwhile Comfort Zone. Try anything to get your company out of that low energy, inertia ridden apathy it is floundering under... either kill dragons or win the princess... but for Chrissake, get moving!
Obviously, it will all depend on the leaders at the helm. Whether they are naturally Charming or Growling. The management proclivities, along with the history of the company and the environment, will decide if the company goes in for unleashing negative energies or positive ones. Either way, the Prince gets the kingdom. The only difference is the emotion with which he wins the girl. Very enthusiastic and peppy! And very pleasant.
Thus illustrated by Victor Hugo *: -
"To do everything on an astonishing scale,
To be a combined Rabelais-Michaelangelo,
That's what the Lord is like, and I just accept it."
Let us bow before the memory of Sumantra Ghoshal
I seriously have to check with my kid. Did Prince Charming really kill the dragon and save the princess? The Charming One, if I remember right, had this irritating habit of running after women with a single glass slipper - trying to fit that singular framework to every foot in the kingdom... must have studied management for graduation. Anyway, the late Sumantra Ghoshal (along with Heike Bruch) had, in a very interesting article, pointed to the possibilities of slaying the dragon and saving the princess - as fine corporate strategies *.
Before exploring the beautiful analogies coined by the gifted minds, let us ponder on emotions. For it is about emotions - raw, pulsating and pounding - that Ghoshal et al speak about in their article. And the art of tapping and redirecting it to the desired destination, in a corporate setting.
Well, for a sensitivity test, check out this stunner by Seamus Heaney **, and guess the emotion behind it: -
"The bloody light.
To hell with it.
Close eyes and concentrate.
Not crown of thorns, not suptre reed,
Or Herod's court, but ha!
You had it! A, harrowing, yes, in hell:
The hackle spikes
That Plato told of..."
(Confused thoroughly? Don't worry; Heaney has that effect sometimes on unsuspecting minds!)
If you are sensitized to raw emotion now, of the negative variety, it is this that Ghoshal speaks about... an ineffable mix of anger, hatred, shame, fear - all in a heady cocktail... which actually empowered Philips Electronics to make a come back in 1990 when their new CEO took over and subjected the company to a shock therapy by saying, "This is a fight - not a game!" ***. Now, don't sue me - this strategy of shocking a complacent or lethargic company into performance is called, "Slaying the dragon".
Mind you, a lethargic company is very different from a complacent one. Both share low energy levels but there is a subtle difference. The lethargic has negative quality and low intensity of energy level. The complacent one has positive quality and low intensity of energy. And both are equally bad for the tummy.
So what does the doc advise?
A magic potion consisting of enthusiasm, energy and enjoyment in winning the performance goals - like Sony Corp, constantly reinventing itself. This is called - "Winning the Princess" - by making the vision everyone's dream! Herein, both the quality and intensity of energy levels in the organization are very positive and high.
Or, surprise, surprise... try anger and competition with that fierce passion bordering on the negative... that is what Oracle follows - "Slaying the dragon" - with high levels of negative energy getting unleashed.
There is no judgment herein. The druid knows that what is good for Asterix need not be good for Obelix. After all didn't someone fall in a certain something even before he could walk? So, go ahead, say the Gurus. Move from Resignation Zone to Passion Zone. And kick off those wreath of past laurels while you are huffing into the Aggression Zone from your erstwhile Comfort Zone. Try anything to get your company out of that low energy, inertia ridden apathy it is floundering under... either kill dragons or win the princess... but for Chrissake, get moving!
Obviously, it will all depend on the leaders at the helm. Whether they are naturally Charming or Growling. The management proclivities, along with the history of the company and the environment, will decide if the company goes in for unleashing negative energies or positive ones. Either way, the Prince gets the kingdom. The only difference is the emotion with which he wins the girl. Very enthusiastic and peppy! And very pleasant.
Thus illustrated by Victor Hugo *: -
"To do everything on an astonishing scale,
To be a combined Rabelais-Michaelangelo,
That's what the Lord is like, and I just accept it."
Let us bow before the memory of Sumantra Ghoshal
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