"So English Makes Sense?"
We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always men,
why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,
and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those,
yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
but though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
but imagine the feminine she, shis and shim.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England.
Quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing?
Grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
A house can burn up as it burns down?
You fill in a form by filling it out?
An alarm goes off by going on?
Did you know that 'verb' is a noun?
How can you look up words in a dictionary if you can't spell them?
If a word is misspelled in a dictionary, how would we ever know?
If two mouses are mice and two louses are lice, why aren't two houses hice?
If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
If you've read a book, you can reread it. But wouldn't this also mean that you would have to 'member' somebody in order to remember them?
Is it a coincidence that the only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable?
Is there another word for a synonym?
Shouldn't there be a shorter word for 'monosyllabic'?
Why can't you make another word using all the letters in 'anagram'?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
Why do some people type 'cool' as 'kewl?'
Why does 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing?
Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
Why does X stand for a kiss and O stand for a hug?
Why is 'crazy man' an insult, while to insert a comma and say 'Crazy, man!' is a compliment?
Why are a wise man and wise guy opposites?
Why is it that we recite at a play and play at a recital?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Why isn't 'palindrome' spelled the same way backwards?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
English is indeed very strange.
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